At a table in a garden, on a soft, sweet, summer's night
Two friends are sitting talking by the moon's reflected light.
On the table in the garden there are glasses but no drink
And the friends are sitting talking, but they often stop to think.
The topics that they cover seem to range so far and wide
And the glasses sit there empty, since they left the drink inside.
The night is getting cooler but the friends stay close and warm,
The moon just looks down calmly, she has magic to perform.
As he leans across to kiss her, and she kisses him as well,
The friendship starts to blossom into something more to tell.
The tension in the garden needs assistance to decline
So the silver crescent of the moon leans down to pour white wine.
Author notes
I loved a line of poetry... by Dalaney.
Lane removed all her poetry from the site now so you cannot find it in her list, but she has now returned with brilliant new poetry. She is the most perfect free verse poet I know. And a damn good rhymer too!
I have now found a copy of Lane's Haiku :-
Bon Apetit
Little black spider
wraps its dinner in fine silk
the moon pours white wine
My AP name is cricketjeff
In a list
A contest entry
- Non Winning Pre-Write/End line Rhyme Only by Piccola.
600 points, ended April 12, 47 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best Prewrites From March 2008 by Amaranthine Lover.
525 points, ended May 1, 41 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Real Love by EmmaLuLu.
360 points, ended April 29, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhyme Baby!!! XD Have a go! by GalykSadie.
300 points, ended April 29, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Where Is The Love? by Ephemeral Twilight.
750 points, ended June 1, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options for the undecided. by Eyes Wide Shut.
875 points, ended May 28, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - by Midnight-x-Rose.
600 points, ended June 18, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A quick one for the best! by Lost Indigo Kitty.
1800 points, ended July 6, 37 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONTEST: Looking for poems, That will make me say: OMG! This is awesome! 810 points by PoeticLove.
600 points, ended July 15, 67 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Insert Good Title Name Here by Abidoodle.
1750 points, ended July 13, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Need Favorites ^___^ by PerfectionIsPoison.
555 points, ended August 7, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Gold Anyone? by Cat10.
650 points, ended August 11, 91 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Anything you want...Show me Your Best Poems..I need inspiration..PW's Welcome! by Hetha.
2100 points, ended August 20, 227 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think [Reward: double points]
Comments
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Very lovely indeed! Its all very good but I love the last two lines especially.
Pam
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Wow, that is amazing. The picture that you painted with your words and the concept are beautiful! Wonderful poem!!!
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This is so pretty! The tone is perfect, the breaks exact, the diction delightful. Nicely penned.
, Dannie
. Rewarded 4
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Congratulations on your bronze trophy in Heatha's contest. Pretty good out or 283 entries.
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but not as good as your gold
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Here I was trying to be gratious.
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So was I!!!
I am very pleased to get a bronze in that number and you should be even more pleased to get a gold!
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There is nothing to NOT like about this poem, it is perfect from start to finish and really brings the scene to one's mind.
Thank you for sharing it.
Be well,
Slayer
. Rewarded 4
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Delightful
Your words, they come to life.
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thank you so much for your great entry!
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Good for the best
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I still love this, the umpteenth time I've read it
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ahh, so good. I have the urge to use some expletives to emphasize my point, but, I'll try to stay classy
~Meg
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that is so beautiful. true love. the title is a real hitch. so congrats delaney. but well done to you for creating such a beautiful, true poem. excellent job
. Rewarded 4
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Absolutely beautiful! A rare treat to behold. Thank you for gracing my contest with it.
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wow...i love this..
my favorite lines...of all
As he leans across to kiss her, and she kisses him as well,
The friendship starts to blossom into something more to tell.
The tension in the garden needs assistance to decline
So the silver crescent of the moon leans down to pour white wine.
so pretty so much imagery ...just beautiful
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Lovely
I have read many poems in my life, but that is filled with true love and emotion. Congrats on your work, and the trophies it has brought.
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very nice
a very touching rendition . . good use of rhyme . . liked "on a soft, sweet, summer's night" and "the moon leans down to pour white wine" . . congrats on the trophies . . I have read this one before but worth reading again . . -
Your first line is so romantic that it immediately drew me in. Maybe it was the alliteration. What a wonderful web you have woven. The form is visually appealing, with long lines that rhyme as couplets. You could have broken them into quatrains, but I'm glad you didn't. It seems more like a sweet little story this way. Bravo!
. Rewarded 6
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the atmosphere you have described here is sooo beautiful
my absolute favourite line is
The moon just looks down calmly, she has magic to perform.
and i love the magic the moon does! such a gorgeous love story great work
. Rewarded 4
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My wife says OMG.....and I say, this poem brought up visions of our reconciliation. We have been divorced for 7 years now, but have recently reunited and this write put everything into perspective for us. It has wonderful cadence, and such romantic suggestion. It read it with enchanting familiarity. It has beautiful ambience....as others have pointed out.
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It is hard to think of higher praise than that. Thank-you.
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beautiful title...as well the poem
...The friendship starts to blossom into something more to tell...uhm seems I need to sitting and talking by the moon's reflecting also
congrats to all the trophies
. Rewarded 4
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Wow magnificently enchanting!
This is so lovely, the ambience exquisite and making the reader really feel as if they were there in the scene so well painted, by you and savoured so much throughout.
Lovely descriptive text, graphically presented with such perfection too and flowing from start to finish.
Lovely picture of a beautiful reality that captures the imagination and makes you want to create your own ending beyond it, so great stimulus for the creative thinker to extend.
Very well done, love it.
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
. Rewarded 8
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FANTASTIC.
This poem is memorable for all the right reasons-it flows like effervescence, and the words are interlinked beautifully. A wonderful piece, that deserves the utmost appraisal.
. Rewarded 4
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Exceptional! Deserves it's great success!
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Beautiful!!!
WOW - What a Profound and Powerful Masterpiece!!! Simply Awesome!!! I was hoping near the end of the story that the lovers would be able to enjoy a sip of wine (it's the caregiver in me), as it seemed fitting to perhaps help cool down the heat of the pulse of the moment!!! I love this stunning poem, and I wish you all the best. I would also like to extend my sincere Congratulations on all your shiny trophies for this amazing piece, Poet!!! Great job!!! Peace, Cyn
. Rewarded 8
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WOW!!!
THis is an amzing poem, I am NOT just saying that. I am floored on how beautiful this poem is. I am completliy astonashed (sp?) I think this poem is my favorite. I also think you need to keep writing like this! It is simply beautiful. I usulay just say 1 or 2 things in a comment, but BRAVO great job.
. Rewarded 6
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I think I've just found a new favorite poem! This flows so beautifully and is very nicely worded. No wonder it has won so many trophies!! I love how you took a line from one poem and have completely transformed it into something amazing!!
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"The tension in the garden needs assistance to decline
So the silver crescent of the moon leans down to pour white wine."
This is the fist poem I have read of yours and i will be reading more.. this made my heart feel as though it were smiling .. just wonderful . simply wonderful!- Sarahlynn
. Rewarded 6
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This poem is very good. I enjoyed reading it very much. i love that you rhyme every line.
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How impressive!
At first it was the poem then I scrolled down and saw all the trophies! Wow!
Time for another one!
Regards,
DeGraw
. Rewarded 4
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Man, I love this every time i read it, also the Haiku of her's that you have in the AN! This poem gets me, every time! I just love it.
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That reminds me I never asked permission, whoops!
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Wow, this is really nicely done !
the content was so, so, like, magical
good job !
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OMG! awesome, this is just lovely, i love moon poems, there my fav. to write about and to read. BRAVO!
straight to the finalists with you. good luck in the contest. -
OK So this is why she told me to read your poems. Ummmm
Wow
I want this to happen to me, every night for ever.
. Rewarded 4
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Worth every trophy-and there's enough here to start a shop!
Lovely write this and I'm way up there with the 'moonies'
xxx
. Rewarded 4
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Yes figured i was right. Thisis my final comment. Thanks for sharing.
Passionspromise -
What I find most charming about this verse
is it's nursery rhyme flow coupled with the fantasy allusion to the magic of the moon light and her silver wine. I infer that for the couple it's the love magic that potentiates light into silver wine. For you I think, from reading your many poems, that it's the poetic gift. Do you need anyone else to make the connection? Seems you are the magic. -
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I don't know about magic, but this is one of my poems that I am truly happy with. It just worked
Thank-you for your kind words
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I loved this!
Flowed and what a beautiful idea for a poem. It was wonderful!
Thank you for entering! -
Simple and sweet. Some parts of the poem I wanted to move faster, and the rhyme matches are common, but that may not be as apparent to some of your readers.
Good job. -
If I May
The title blows the entirely natural, logical last line.
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There is that, but the title has sort of stuck to it now
The whole poem was written towards that line.
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Good stuff.
You bring art and craft together and leave no seam.
Your rhymes are natural; nothing reads as forced.
And I like the waistcoat. Funny hats are declasse.
. Rewarded 4
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Wow! That was really good. I could really feel the passion in it and it felt like I was there.
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also, this goes on the list of my favorites, which is quite a select few
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I am truly honoured, it is a poem I love myself
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OH MY OH MY holy hot salsa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is my favorite of yours so far!!! !
such exquisite , rhyme and flow...you truly amaze me, and I am in awe of your skills and look up to you!
such a Perfect tribute... and damn, the imagery... blew the ice cream off my cone
" So the silver crescent of the moon leans down to pour white wine.">>>>>omg this is PHENOM!!!!
it flows out so smoothy, and swishes around in my thoughts, emitting a slight and sweet fragrance, lingering on my taste buds...
....divine... that's all.
Sailor Ptolema
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OH YA!!!!
MMMMM This is by far, something to howl at the moon about! You have truly inspired me with this lunar write. Everything about it lines up perfectly in my cosmo mind! It is chock "full" of imagery that is out of the galaxy. You have swooned me with this beauty! I LOVE IT! The moon is one of my most favorite subjects to pen about. And, I can see why your trophy case is overloaded. I will necer forget this one, for it has touched my itty bitty, poetic heart. One major piece of poetic royalty, my poetic friend in crime.You have my penning juices flowing, and I'm already penning one of my own luar poems, and it's all due to you. You have TRULY inspired me, as usual. IT'S JUST YUMMY!!!!!
POETDONTKNOWIT
THE YEAR ROUND FIRECRACKER
. Rewarded 8
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Do I take it you like it then?
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I agree with everyone it's great. You've got some really great rhyming skills too. Doesnt take away from the flow. Plus the topic is so classic. Kind of reminds me of the way my mother and father use to sit outside on sunday nights and talk.
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This is beautiful!!!! Amazing!
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Thank-you, it is perhaps my favourite poem of my own.
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friendships can blossom as this one did without the wine..i love it.
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Aww this is adorable. It shows the journey from friends to something more quite well. I really like that you give some sort of background as to what they were doing in the garden in the first place and that it wasn't just some random, romantic setting.
Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest
Sarah
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Awww I do love this... It's light hearted, but oh so very beautiful! Really lovely imagery and I adore the rhyming.
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had to come back and read.....
wonderful -
Soft and lyrical love song, tender use of the line you borrowed. I hope the target of this poem loves it because it is beautiful.
Nice poetry.
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makes me jealous...
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Another beauty. I'm sold. I'll have to come back and read lots more. Guess I have another favorite.
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Wow, that was amazing!
My new favorite love poem.
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You're fantastic
ILY jeff!
AMAZING -
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I am pleased you like it, it is one of my favourite poems.
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FUCK
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Beautiful!
I love it! It painted such a vivid picture, and is so beautifully written. Excellent work.
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So the silver crescent of the moon leans down to pour white wine.
fantasic spin off
Add three more bunnies to it.
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359 now that is 180 for Lane and 179 for me.
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This was gorgeous. I loved it. I enjoyed that you combined two options as well! And the beauty of this poem, you made it so simple and beautiful. I really enjoyed it. Thank you for entering it.
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I loved this!! It's extremely impressive how you managed to paint such a perfect picture in my mind
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Quite impressive. I love the way you showed the budding love on a moonlit night. They way you describe it, I picture two teenagers. It is a very lovely piece that makes me smile as I read. I found nothing to criticize except, as aprilnadeau stated, the use of the word "since." I feel that eliminating the word brings the line more to life and gives it a feel of more intense beauty.
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Fine creative use of this mystical sounding borrowed metaphore.
Nice flow and end rhymes. Favorite line:L8, the moon has magic to perform. Least favorite: L6, Because of using since . I know why you used it , but would be better without it. Wonderful description of that moment when affection turns to romantic love. Return the favor?
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My goodness! This poem just re-affirms why I'll forever call you master poet! This was so so beautiful.
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