Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Daddy..

Daddy why you had to come home drunk
Grabbing and punching at everything in sight
Mommy never wanted to get in your way
Im sorry Daddy if i wasnt a good girl
I see you taking a bat and waving it in the air
The bat went crash
Sounds of pain ripple through the air
All of a sudden blood is everywhere
On the walls
Doors
Windows
Mommys head is busted open
Daddy drops the bat and runs to her
And just like a shooting star
Mommy fell to the unknown
Mommy was at her final resting place
Mommy was dead....

Author notes

Well it kind of describes what i go through with my parents. Even though im not that young as the girl in the poem, this is what i feel might happen if my parents fighting escalates. =(

In a list

What you think??

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • Dixy-Lee
    November 20
    Edit | Reply

    Good but definately morbid


  • Rose Angel gold member
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    Pain and suffering ooze out of this write..My heart is with you here and with your mother...Dark penning..needing to be shared....


  • Seven Deaths
    October 4

    Edit | Reply

    Really Good Writen!

    I understand you a 100%!
    I don't want to see you go through a lot of pain with things like that!
    Never forget that I will always be here for you no matter what!


  • Slaughter Lord
    October 2

    Edit | Reply
    ....wow...I thought it was a really good write. I was pleased that it wasnt you getting your head bashed in though coz I think that might have ruined it...anyway, it was a really good write. The first sentence is a bit mucked up, so I suggest
    "Daddy, Why do you have to come home drunk"
    What you have written for the first sentence doesnt make much sence. But other than that distraction, this poem was brilliant. Keep writting.

  • Dark Otter gold member
    October 1
    Edit | Reply

    I agree!

    This is intense. You did succeed in drawing me in. Well done!

  • i totally love u thank u!!!!!!
  • i loved it and its definitely depressing


  • ChaosAangel
    October 1

    Edit | Reply
    Yay! I found a way to quickly read them! This really gives me a sight into the child's perspective. Very well written. x

  • Melodies silver member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    A dramatic poem filled with anger and emotion that makes the reader want to phone 911. Write more and more poems, please.

  • Welcome to AllPoetry

    This is an intense poem that screams from the page and hurts the heart within.
    You have some spelling mistakes but it is a fantastic poem.


    Enjoy AllPoetry
    Stay safe
    ~Manda
1 - 10 of 10