Why are my smiles so labored,
Lips like cement blocks;
There is no more in my heart
To fuel my motors
I am sorry I doubted love's strength
Even after it has been drained
Puss leaked out completely,
It still hurts me;
I still hurt;
Sure, the pain is duller,
As I suppress it because everyone
Is so tired of seeing it,
So I don a mask
Of glad, instead of sad,
Happy instead of crappy,
And I live underneath this blanket
Trying to find myself in the dark
I think this is good for me-
Whatever, no it isn't;
It hurts like a mother fucker,
But no,
I say I feel better,
I'm over that bitch,
Faking it til I make it-
Which is just bullshit;
I am losing faith,
Faith in misery
Serving a purpose,
The deep dark sinews of hate
Plummet from my throat,
Cascading down into my foul heart
What a wonderful life,
A wonderful dream
That is recklessly assembled
By angels working overtime,
Second job to pay the rent,
Food for the crying cupid at home-
I need to believe in misery again,
The perfect misery
That enslaves my wit
And bends it to its will,
A will of dialectical,
Puss-eliciting,
Artificial
Death
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