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Turtles Are Exempt- (Quirky side up)

Watered adobes are hiding shades
whose viewings have secret places
all those rocky sanctuaries
where slow poke shells are exempt
their social grace
seeks other
worlds.

Author notes

Example 1
"Pasty skinned Zebra-lovers,
Sauntering up to anthill homes",<--- a great escape to a more humbling and safe environment. Most likely to be societal as well.

**Answer to verbial reference was to grace as 'shells' has its own action and possessive 'their' grace throws it off a little in the tongue. Still trying to configure something so it doesn't.hehehe

A contest entry

Option 2-I'm suffocating the clock to keep you

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Rovingone gold member
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    I like the line, where slow poke shells are exempt. Is there such a place? Words tumble off melodically. Very good.


  • catz Moderators member
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, yes, this is very good, Sis. The references to watered adobes (or should it be 'abodes'?) and secret places give this piece a uniquely mysterious substance. A wonderfully penned poem and I wish you best of luck in the contest

    love and
    Dee


  • notorious
    April 19

    Edit | Reply

    Funny

    Wow--I don't even know what an 'adobe' is...but this was good.

    "all those rocky sanctuaries"
    My favorite line...although I think 'these' would sound better than 'those', although I guess it's a preference of which pronunciation you prefer??

    "are exempt from their social grace"
    Amusing...it's like a wry comment.

    ...this doesn't really belong here, but I made another contest...haha.


    • CookieZeal Greeters member
      April 19
      Edit | Reply
      Oh, well you've a point there. "These" would sound more personal as if from the little sweet rocky reptile himself than an outsider who knows little of its contained environment. I am always grateful for honest critique. Always welcomed and considered!

      Thank you!

  • Perception
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting write. I absolutely love your descriptions... They are wonderful! hehe...

    Great write, and good luck in your connnnnntest

  • Sprite silver member
    April 16
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations for being among the few who actually did the first part of the contest! THANK YOU. This is a charming write. Also interesting. I like the image of "watered adobes." Question: Is the word "seeks" referring to "shells" or "grace?" Either way, I think it should be "seeks."

    Thanks for entering the contest!

    ~ Joyce
1 - 6 of 6