Like petals astrewn, I've laid them on ground
Watching with care to not let some harm,
Nor let the breeze blow them hard..
Its there in their midst, lies all my charm,
All my wishes from the depth of my heart..
If its your will and way to walk over
Then you may as you'd please, but take some care,
For they are tender, slender and subtle..
You cant hurt them, thats not fair
For they are my dreams, laid as a carpet there..
Author notes
"But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams."
~William Butler Yeats - The Passions of an Irish Poet (June 13, 1865 - January 28, 1939)
A contest entry
- ~William Butler Yeats - The Passions of an Irish Poet~ PIF by Pamela A Lamppa.
875 points, ended April 22, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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i love your poem i mean it makes total sense and wat not
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A very lovely first line. "Like petals astrewn," a carpet seen only in dreams, tenderly wrought, to the last line,
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Your ideas delightfully adhere to the contest prompt. I did enjoy this very much.
Your last line is the breath of the entire poem. I liked that very much.
"You can't hurt them, that's not fair"
May have read smoother as:
"please don't hurt them, it would not be fair"
Or something to that effect. I realize I may have gone out of meter with that idea, but something like that.
I am pleased to have read this piece this morning. Thank you for a delightful entry and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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oh...this is so sweet and sincere...a very heartfelt write about dreams...and like a dream, this piece is so enchanting and full of vivid images...very captivating indeed!
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It seems a life time since i last read and commented on one of your poems (my fault not yours) as always you provide excellent reading with a fine word usage, A pleasure to have read Good luck in the contest
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