She walks through the pass
The path, the past...
Flittering headshots flickering through thoughts
Reminiscing in acquaintances, references
Whom at one point deceived her to believe
That bonds are worth the break
That friendship is the tape
To heal her, to steal her,
From the damned pitch black that was Fate
Which she didn't believe through anyway
How could anyone but her control the day
She would live, and She would fall
And everyone would break, the trust with all
It would take, a simple break
Mistrust properly displayed to be replaced
By naivety, being deceived by thee...
So when she looks deep at her hands,
Her face, Her life, in contraband
Of her heart, where were her smarts
That shielded You from Her blatant fragility
That You broke through, dismembering tranquility
She trusted, She unlocked the door
Into her depths, a disaster to explore
And instead of healing life from your being
You smashed, and crashed
Spit on, quit on...
The last thing her quivering lips eclipsed
Through darkened breathe and tangled flesh
Exposed, unknown, with tingling breath
Her final words, Ever so silently,
The look of dread, You'd be the last one she sees?
But it’s fitting, there's no acquitting
Of what You did to Her by spitting
On the last hope,
Which the soul of your shoes broke
Her never ending Trust of you
Her mangled glazed eyes fit askew
Oh yes, oh yes, how fitting…
Author notes
Every that is is capitalized is meant to be. Odd spellings were intentional as well.
A contest entry
- sad confessions by ichigosama.
600 points, ended May 22, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty is always appreciated
Comments
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ichigosama
well written. i like it. the last thing her quivering lips eclipsed through darkened breathe and tangled flesh. thanks for entering and good luck!!!!! -
First and foremost, putting a new title wouldn't be bad. And second... nice. Putting emphasis on personal pronouns and other words, I wonder how deep does this hurt and how deep is this supposed to hurt as well. Good luck on the contest.


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Ahh thanks for the feedback. Just as I was about to name it, my mom shrieked at me to come to dinner. Time to go name it now. :]
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