Dancing Tree
In you I see the celebration
Of creativity
The mystery of memory
Will I see you move
If I have patience enough
To wait in the darkness and silence
And trust that you and I consist of the same flame
Would my cook fire warm you? Ease your fears? Calm your pain?
Is there a name
the soul sculpted here
Remembered; honored
Loved for the daughter
She is…
Author notes
Please see the inspiritional photo number 2 in this contest
A contest entry
- Nature Photo Inspired by rainwalker.
450 points, ended May 6, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ecstasy of Movement by VainPoetess.
700 points, ended July 30, 15 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Very clever. The pic that inspired it is beautiful, and you have penned a fitting tribute to the light that lives in all living things.
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Excellent
Thank you for the link to this, it's a very clever concrete poem and shows in both words and vision your love of all things natural.
All the best...Sue
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Wow
This is amazing. I read this several times through just to experience it again. The formatting takes the power of these words and amplifies it, as well as taking the story and giving it life and meaning. I really enjoyed reading this.
Well penned.
~lost
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Beautiful
The format is perfect: the fullness of the upper branches allowing the phrases to truly dance, flowing gently to funnel down through the trunk. I love the questioning tone of the poem, how the narrator gently entreats the other person, asking if they've done enough and will be able to do enough in the future.
Your place as a finalist in 'Ecstasy of Movement' is well deserved; I hope you win Silver, although I think you might very well win Gold (still holding out for my own poem, but I think you have me beat).
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Thank you for your kindness and sensitivity. I must reciprocate!
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Great format and a beautiful poem. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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I always love a good nature write, and I also love trees, as you can probably tell by my icon, enjoyable for sure!
I should have said nature/spiritual write, as they are entertwined.
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applause for honorable mention in my contest
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Beautiful piece. I love the concrete form you chose to break it up and give it it's unique stop and go flow. Good word choice and imagery, you have gotten your emotions across very clearly and effectively as well. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing!!
-Laura -
Wow
I am finally back and this is the first thing I have read...what a great choice! Beautiful verse and speaks to many subjects. Love it!!
Wolfie
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I'll not go to the picture, I always stay away from that. I try to take the piece as it is. I see a concrete poem here. However, I am not sure if it is smoke ascending or a tree? Either way this has such an emotional appeal in it that it is irrelevant. I of course as the reader can interpret this anyway I choose regardless of what you intended. There is so much love actually going on this piece that the lines that intertwine the two players almost breaks me down. I have felt these feelings, but more than that you ask questions of whether the offering of the writer will be enough for the recepient. If I have patience enough, we consist of the same flame, would my cook fire warm you, etc,. The love is without requirements, the question of its reassurance is in the narrator's concerns that enough has been deposited to be accepted by the one being given the affection. Of course is my feelings, and my moment when reading. So whether I missed it by a mile or not does not matter. I liked it my way. RC
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amazingly insightful. You read my mail...
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Amen.
Go lookit the pickture. toooo coool!
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