Small-town night breaks
away, leaves me in dreams
of red sun and ravenous shadow,
a world pondering its own
soft end, long fingers
gathering up all the music
and filtering it through
my too-small ribcage.
Something stirs
like a dinosaur in the fog
of my own self,
raises its ugly head
and merely stares.
I feel as though
I've forgotten something;
or maybe, someone
forgot me.
A contest entry
- Inspire my muse by Punkette.
525 points, ended May 11, 11 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I love this.
"Something stirs
like a dinosaur in the fog"
That whole little section there was fantastic imagery like holyy I loved it. Dinosaurs<3 so awesome, and just the raising its head in the fog like I just see that long neck of a brontosaurus or whatever lifiting like some alien space ship in the darkness I just thought that was fantastic.
I really liked the ending too it was phrased perfectly, it just had a really nice flow like someone would be saying it. Just the way you arranged the last words was just right.
The ideas of the whole thing were really interesting too. Its like you're taking a moment to pull yourself together but you're falling apart. & then something its like deja vu or something...& you wonder what happened? Its very like vague in a way, wandering. So beautiful! Good job!
xo<3peace
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The dinosaur stanza was an image I've been thinking about for a very long time, but didn't know how to express properly. It's still not right, but it's closer than previous attempts.
This poem is me watching my atoms break their bonds and fly off into the atmosphere to become something else entirely. It's watching my fingertips dissolve, feeling my brain grow numb and wild. I don't know how to explain it any better.
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good job thank you for the entry
anaiya illyria
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