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Burned, From the Inside - Out

Missing image

Tempestuously I breathe

fire, fervor, luminosity -

and nothing escapes

its passionate

but destructive embrace -

a deadly grip I let squeeze

every ounce of control from me.

 

Mercurial in nature,

I succumb to violent blasts

of enkindled radiance

culminated within,

it forces its way out -

an explosion of fiery furor

leaving everything around me

scorched to ruin.

Author notes

Prompt: Picture

Those who know me well enough can understand this is also based on personal experience.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Amera gold member
    June 8

    Edit | Reply
    It's easy to see why this won gold! This is fantastic! Your dark poetry is amazing with it's descriptive image full imagery.

    Love,
    Amera

  • Ms.Anthropic
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful - wonderfully phrased - a great metaphor!

    you write of fire so well!


  • Poet Muse gold member
    June 2

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!!!

    Congratulations on winning the golden chalice!!! Peace, Cyn


  • LyricistFor TheMute
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    i can imagine a few different meanings to a poem so deep.i can feel a sinch of arrogance in this.. and it is powerful.. love it..


  • Swan song gold member
    May 10
    Edit | Reply
    This is well worthy of the gold very very good dear!!!!!


  • EternitysLastWish
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    That is one stunner of a metaphor. Well, apologies if I sound assumptious when I say it's a metaphor, it's just that something this powerful can't possibly have just one meaning. It's also very deep and heartfelt on what seems like a very personal level.
    On a poetic note, though - nice descriptions! And absolutely gorgeous words. Another vivid combination of science and art, with a breathtaking result.

    "an explosion of fiery furor
    leaving everything around me
    scorched to ruin." what a beautiful transition! And a heartbreaking end.

    Another beautiful piece.

    Love and hugs sis!
    Jess x


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      May 8
      Edit | Reply
      No need to apologize - you are correct. It is definitely an intentional metaphor.

      Thak you so much for your wonderful comment.

      Love hugs to you too, Sis

  • VampireSeductress
    May 5
    Edit | Reply
    Great use of words. Short but powerful, creating a detailed image


  • Pyragus
    May 5

    Edit | Reply

    Mmmmm

    I feel like Anne of Green Gables enthralled in every word, rolling them around on my tongue tasting each little syllable, eating up the flowing rhythm. This poem feels like hot chocolate or hot mulled wine going down my throat. Bitter sweet and warming to the core. It makes me inhale air hoping to breathe out fire and consume every thing on the earth, to burn my problems away.

    Please tell me you are going to be a writer "when you grow up" lol this is beautiful. I am so just ecstatic to know you. Like one day I will point to a poetry book and say to my friend, "I knew her before she was famous" lol

    Magnificent poem.

    ~kar


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      May 5
      Edit | Reply
      Haha... I'm working on being a writer now! And I think I already qualify as being "grown up"... although sometimes I wonder if I'll ever "grow up", lol.

      I will try my best... and I'll send you a signed copy if I ever get published!

      • notorious
        May 7
        Edit | Reply

        Teehee

        As the person who chose Gold for this poem..
        I want a signed copy...HAHAHA You know, kind of like certification for "I knew, liked, and judged this person's poetry way before she became uber famous!"
        Or, you know. Something like that.

  • Chaos Star
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    wow i can totally see how this would win a gold. it's very well written and i like how the vocabulary fit into the poem, and the italicized stuff worked well.

  • Flare the Arcphoenix
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome! I knew this was gold-material the moment I finished it. ^.^ The language....so vibrant, so wonderfully fiery, so....well, explosive. Nice work!

    --Flare
    o|--|=======>


  • MotorcycleFreak silver member
    May 4

    Edit | Reply

    Hmmm

    Interesting. You seem to have a lot of emotion radiating from this poem in the form of burning flame. It is very well constructed, but it seems a bit overheated. ;-) ~Peace~Gar

  • Pure Thought silver member
    May 4
    Edit | Reply

    Awesome GOLD

    I'll be good I swear, don't wanna get burned


    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      May 4
      Edit | Reply
      LOL! I'd never burn you babe! You know that I might heat things up a bit, though.

  • crimsondew silver member
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    You are great with dark and fantasies...now this is where I fall short I would say...everyone has her style...
    Mercurial in nature,
    love the imagery in this line

    Poem flows really well too..All the best in the contest!


  • Girl In The War
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I like this. I like how it can be about the picture that prompted the poem or about someone who is perhaps self destructive in nature. Also, I loved your word choices (mercurial, enkindled).

    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      May 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much. I love those words, too. I actually got the word "mercurial" from a book I've been reading by Kay Redfield Jamison, called "An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness"- I had never heard the word used in that context (describing violent changes in mood), and thought it was fascinating.

  • buffsab99
    May 4

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Your words flow so beautifully. You are such an amazing writer. I love how you brought this picture to life. Great job on this piece. Keep up the amazing work


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is exquisite dear, gold in my opinion! You know, I had some very spicy Mexican food once, and this sort of reminded me of that. LOL!


    Love and peace always,
    mj.


  • notorious
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    An absolutely amazing portrayal of the picture prompt. The title is both fitting and evocative. You have a stunning vocabulary...my favorite line:

    "nothing escapes its passionate but destructive embrace"
    Irony at its deepest.

    Honestly, I enjoyed ALL the lines though, and also appreciated the italicizations of certain words to draw them out.

    My single suggestion:

    "of enkindled radiance
    that culminates deep within"

    I think this could be changed slightly to:

    "of enkindled radiance
    culminating deep within"

    The 'that' is unnecessary and takes away a bit from the strong aspect of the poem. To be honest, the 'deep' in 'deep within' isn't necessary either, but that's up to you. I strongly suggest ousting the 'that' in that line however.

    Thanks for the entry! =]





    • Auburn Sunrise gold member
      May 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, and for the gold trophy! I'm glad you were so pleased.
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