why
why did you say you cared
why did you say you love me
and just turn around and leave me
why
why did you hold me late at nights
when you are just gunna turn around
and pretend like i dont even exzest
why
why did you call me
and then just hang up on me
why
why did you cheet on me
and exspect me not to find out!
why
why did you even talk to me
if your just gunna leave me
why
why is the only question i keep
asking my self
when i think of you!!
-bre hart
A contest entry
- why is it so cold? by sassykitty.
400 points, ended May 24, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me ur thoughts???
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Thats... sad... I kno that feelin and ur poems bring back so many memories of a past life but thats what makes it great aint it?
-
We've all seen this poem before -- or at least its structure and repetition of "why" -- to the point of nausea. That's okay; some brilliant poems aren't original, but are brilliant because of the way they are handled, written, rendered, what-have-you. This one, with its grammatical and spelling errors, is just sloppy and doesn't add anything to the old cliches. Had you taken the time to polish your writing and had used poetic devices to convey what you meant instead of simply whining it onto a computer screen, this wouldn't fall so short.
They are good questions, though, and if it's true, I hope you can resolve them with this person. If not, he/she's not worth your time.
-Cristina -
I really like this poem. I can kinda relate to it and I think it's pretty awsome! Keep it up!^_^
-
great write xxx
-
that is just how i felt when i tlked to a boy for a while from somewhere else that i considered a bf and all i can say is that boys r jerks and that is never going to change great poem tho
-
Hmm... Just a few spelling errors, but that's not my point. It's a really good poem. It's how you felt when you wrote this, "Why" Is a really good title for this because it's explaing his reason for doing this. Lines 16-17 make sence to me, most men are ignorant. They don't think very well, most of the time it's about sex lol. But like I said, I love this poem, Hopefully he'll read this and he'll kick himself in the ass
xox -
interesting
thanks for entering and not writing literally about feeling cold. good use of question and answer format. good luck in my contest -
hmm...some spelling and grammer errors of course...I think this could be a wonderful poem if you polished it up a bit, to be comepeltely honest with you. It seems like you didnt spend much time on this...there arent any metaphors or similes...also no imagery. but like i said if you polished it up a bit i think this could be a beatufiul piece.
-
good poem!
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
