"Damaged goods"
My Beloved, you are not
With a King's ransom you've been bought
Refined and shaped
By the Master's hands
A woman of beauty before me stands
"Broken and worthless"
These words don't own
Precious are you, more than any gem or stone
The Father's child
A devoted mother, my best friend
I'm proud of you and I'll defend you to the end
Author notes
This is a personal write for my Beloved. She's been dealing with personal demons from the past and I want to use this to encourage her, lift her up and let her know she can walk with her head up.
In a list
- ♦ Honorable Mention • next in list
- ♠ Bronze • next in list
- AP - Some poems of my favorite poets • next in list
- For ~Lisa~ • next in list
- Abuse • next in list
A contest entry
- Ending the Cycle of Abuse by midnightblue1272.
600 points, ended May 27, 17 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It always protects... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
300 points, ended June 3, 17 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Damaged Goods by nansie.
900 points, ended October 18, 16 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Tim again i reading...
Your heart of Gold!
this is the man i know to be my love, my soulmate.
The one who wrote to lift this tatterd bruised heart out of the pits of her hell. You seen my need as you do many others.
Perfection comes in many forms...love perfected is the most beautiful.
Your words from a comment:
"I really don't care if this is poetically correct, my intent was to lift up Lisa and encourage her. If it gets awards, fine, if not no biggie.
I don't write for perfection, I write my heart."
I love you for this soul of beauty.
~Lisa~
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A very thought provoking and beautiful poem, thank you
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just wonderful my friend..I read it second time..and now it seems even more beautiful..thanks for sharing..
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you made me cry with this beautiful write as i am struggling with damaged emotions today. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. i wish you well in this contest that we both have entered. viyanna rosemarie
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Hi Viyanna Rosemarie~
Thank you for your comments. This was written about a month ago when someone brought my Beloved to tears with the words "damaged goods," among others. I spent hours cleaning up the damage caused, but I will lovingly tend to her in any and all areas she needs me to help. I do have a number of other writes on my page, they are set up in lists (one list is for abuse).
I'm sorry to hear you are going through this yourself and I do wish you well.
~ Tim
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This was very touching and deep. I wish I could show this to a few special people, maybe they would understand. You've written a very hopeful, beautiful poem that actually doesn't make me gag
(I mean that in the kindest way, lol) The rhyme was well done, also. Thanks for entering, and good luck
Jeanette*~ -
Relatively good rhyming here... although there are definitely some lines that really sound like "yoda talk". I thought perhaps it was a stylistic thing , since the last line of the first three stanzas all did it, but the last stanza is worded normally. Also, the very last line has an internal rhyme and is much too long rhythmically. Seriously consider changing the last line of the third stanza... it really stands out as the weakest line in the piece.
The first two stanzas are pretty good though. I like the general theme of protection and safety that accompanies the love. Nice work.
. Rewarded 8
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Honestly, this is how it came to me and this is how it stands. Someone who won't let my Beloved be called her and brought her to tears, calling her "damaged goods," and such. I really don't care if this is poetically correct, my intent was to lift up Lisa and encourage her. If it gets awards, fine, if not no biggie.
"Precious are you, more than any gem or stone" ~ you called this the weakest line, but she likes it very much and finds the line Biblical. Thank you for your suggestion, but it stands.
I don't write for perfection, I write my heart.
Thank you for your comments.
~ Tim -
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Sure thing, I wasn't saying you need to change everything I pointed out... just offering a few suggestions. I also definitely wasn't trying to take anything away from the feeling behind the poem. It's a good piece, and those were just constructive suggestions. I'm glad she liked it
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Nice. Your poem is well written. Your thoughts are well expressed. I am sure your beloved appreciated what you penned.
. Rewarded 4
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Thank you, and yes she does!
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Flows very well, these words in these lines do; sentiments well expressed and easy to read and understand what you are saying here. How wonderful that she has someone who cares for her and lets the past be gone, and looks forward to the future together. Heartfelt and filled with emotion. Congratulations on the HM and bronze in these two contests.
. Rewarded 6
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Grannyeri~
Thank you! Regardless of the awards, it was more important that these words be said - not just to her, but to anyone who's been there. Yes, we need to let the past stay there and move forward.
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Very nicely done. It is simple and to the point but with a melodic flow that makes it beautiful. Words that are needed to be heard by many who carry baggage around that was not necessarily of their own making. I love the reference to the kings ransom to denote how truly important a human soul is in the full scope of things.
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"I love the reference to the kings ransom to denote how truly important a human soul is in the full scope of things."
Thank you, that is why I wrote it...It was intended for my Beloved, but these words go to anyone who's felt the wrath of spiteful words and verbal/mental/physical abuse.
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I love the respect you gave your partner that is quite true and inspring bringing a momment of the satisfaction..I love this work....
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Thank you for your words and I am honored by your award. My pleasure.
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Damaged goods do not apply to people
only abused bodies, and damaged hearts
and these are, our society's awards, and accomplishmentsin which she takes pride in.
Nicely done.
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You're right, "damaged goods" does not apply to people, you just confirmed by your definition that she is NOT damaged goods. Thank you.
But you lost me on the part where she takes pride in? There is nothing prideful about being mentally and emotionally abused. Words cut deeper than physical wounds because the scars never heal.
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This is such a heartfelt poem that no one could ever define with just one word.
I really like it.
It's a load full of emotion.
The first stanza is amazing.
Within the whole poem, there is such a good flow, considering the rhyming is far from forced.
You think high of this woman and you're nothing but devoted to her - with all that you have. You've written this very well.
Kudos.
Sincerely,
dove ~
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Hi Dove~
Thank you! Nothing about this write was forced. It came to me after talking with her on my way to work, I jotted down the lines as they came to me with very little editing whatsoever.
I say with all honesty, that ~Lisa~ is my one true love and it is in my very breath to lift her and love her as she so very much deserves. Hearing her pain on the phone just tore me up, that anyone could bring her to tears with words...She is not "damaged goods," nor is any woman who's been in an abusive lifestyle. I cannot fix her, or heal her wounds, but I can love her and lift her up.
It is my hope that other women gain courage and inspiration from these words, just as ~Lisa~ has.
Again, thank you~
Tim
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Wonderfully Written !
It is really truely a real pleasure to read your poetry ! You bring so much inperation to me . Your words are so powerful and strong just like the beauty of a song. Very well expressed and such a pleasure to know that you love your gift from God Your beloved wife and family ! God Bless You All ! Brenda Gae
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Hi Brenda Gae~
I really appreciate your comments and I am humbled hearing that I bring you inspiration. Originally a songwriter, I'm rather new at this actual poetic stuff!
Yes, ~Lisa~ is a wonderful gift from God, I thank Him daily! She's not my wife ~ yet ~ but I do love her and her family as my own. She has wonderful kids, they've gone thru these hard times with her but they have their chins up. One is joining the military, I have nothing but respect for him (I'm former Army, myself).
Feel free to read my other work, Brenda, I'd love your comments.
God bless~
Tim
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The gift of love is most felt in how totally it accepts the beloved. I always tell my wife "she is perfect down to her last imperfection." For yes, we must all feel free to grow and change, be part of the tides and the pull of the moons that circle us creating the larger whole that we are part of, yet our mate, our beloved, becomes the one we share with about our intimate strivings and celebrate the success of theirs and stand strong and silent when they just need us to be present. I could go on, of course. But I have said enough. The poem is lovely. You should read one of my newest "Right"
Love, Tom B.
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Thank you, Tom~
I couldn't agree more. Thank you for your insight & comments. My ~Beloved~ is a most cherished woman who's gone thru more than her share of hard times, lifting her up is something I enjoy doing - just wish she didn't have to go thru so much...
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Very nice poem. I like it from the title to the end. Creator and creation... tied with cords of love. What could be better and nicer?
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Refined and shaped
By the Master's hands
A woman of beauty before me stands
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What else any woman need to hear and know? Great poem. I am sure your beloved is proud of you too.
~Sonja~
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Thank you~
I've shared this write with others and it seems that my observation about my Beloved is something that women wish they could hear once in a while from the ones that love them. I'm not being arrogant in my saying this, actually I am quite humbled. I love my Sweet Beloved with all that is in me and sharing these words is the very least I can do - it is also in showing her, but I know this is a text forum so words are what I offer here.
Your comments are very welcome & appreciated, thank you.
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This is lovely..sometime these truly are the words we need to hear. That help lift us up and start believing in ourselves again.
Thank you for entering and good luck
~sugar~
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Powerful
Very uplifting words expressed here. I especially like the first & third stanzas. Terrific job.
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Thank you~
I appreciate the compliment...While this is a personal message from me to my Beloved, I was hoping, also, that I would find a way to share this with others and perhaps bring some hope or at least a smile into their lives too. No woman, no person, should ever suffer at the hands of another - neither by word or by touch.
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My Sweet Xianaria
I am blessed by your words. When you read them to me, i was at peace. Now seeing them you honor me, i am humbled before you.
Thank you, For you are my joyous one!
All my love,
Your
Lifetime
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My Beloved~
I found a background with your favorite flowers on it as well!
My Sweet, it is such a blessing to have you in my life, and when I am able to give back it brings me great pleasure! You are beautiful, strong and an incredible woman ~ how could I not honor you?
Love for a Lifetime~
Your Xianaria -
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The Biggest hug ever!!! I promise!!!!!!!
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u r so sweet@
and this poem is a touch to the heart
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Thank you
Your comments are much appreciated! She's my best friend and my inspiration. Sometimes instead of saying "I love you" we need to use words that build up the one we love
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*Hug*ssss
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