Three gypsies knocked at the Golden Gates,
Saint Peter, looking out, called "Wait.
No one may enter 'till I look
and check their records in my Book"
He read the pages with a frown
then looked the gypsies up and down:
"Scrap metal dealers - who, mayhap,
would sometimes steal what wasn't scrap?
I'll have to ask you here to bide
while I consult with HIM, inside."
God listened to the Saint's report
then, after just a moment's thought,
"SEND THEM AWAY - AND WHEN THAT'S DONE
COME BACK AND TELL ME THAT THEY'VE GONE!"
No sooner than he's hastened thither
the Saint is back, now all a-dither -
"Oh Lord, the've gone! They've gone!" he states:
"THE GYPSIES?" "Lord - the bloody Gates!"
Author notes
jimmy20johns
NOTE re the title: For those not familiar with cockney jargon, "knocking off" (like "nicking" and "pinching") means stealing.
In a list
A contest entry
- Something To Divert Me (pre-writes allowed) by usedup.
700 points, ended June 27, 23 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm bored, lets do something crazy! by Meroza.
450 points, ended September 22, 29 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your 'Gold' Is All The Rage by 2lullabyhaven.
650 points, ended November 5, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Wow, the 'gates?' I say...thanks for your entry lol
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LOL!
At first i was looking as the ending thinking ... "huh?" but eventually i got it
im a little dumb i guess..
Thanks for entering, it made me laugh and it is very well-written. Best of luck
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lol,
Well this just made me grin from ear to ear.
what a wonderful write.Thanks for sharing it and entering.good luck in the contest.
Thanks again.
-Mandi
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that's kind of racist.
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No, my friend - any racist interpretation of this piece is solely in the mind of the reader. Read correctly, it shows the celestial duo as intolerant and therefore, rightly, getting their come-uppence from those they've rejected. I want to add that, while being a long time campaigner for human rights and activist in the one time Anti Nazi League, I am equally opposed to the kind of touchy-feely vigilantism which would preclude all the natural and healthy banter between the sexes and racial/social differences. In my mind P.C. doesn't mean "Politically Correct" (which it certainly isn't) but, rather, Police Constable. jimmy
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any interpretation of anything is solely in the mind of the reader. "I am equally opposed to the kind of touchy-feely vigilantism which would preclude all the natural and healthy banter between the sexes and racial/social differences" is, again, in my sole mind, recognition that it's racist joke, and that that doesn't bother you. while I understand the point, and will not in any way try to give you a hard time, I feel like your trying to convince me that the rain isn't wet. you're doing a good job at it, very elegant, but my hair is still wet.
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I was, of course, inferring you had MIS-interpreted my intention in this piece - a supposition somewhat confirmed by your having apparently misconstued my reply. It would seem we're communicating on different wavelengths so perhaps we should let it rest here. I'm sure you mean well and I wish you all the best. Cheers, jimmy
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sure, no problem. i get what your intention was, and i do, whatever my previus comments might sugest, wish you all the best as well. Cheers.
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Hahahahaha, omg! This is just the most awsomest!
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Thanks
That made me smile..
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LOL> This was a wonderful punch line. It took me totally by surprise. Thanks so much for sharing it with me.
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Really good write...
I love the flow. It made me smile =]
Thanks for entering.
Good luck in the contest
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Oh my goodness
What a muse you have here and a unique story indeed
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LOL. this is so cute. I love it. I am so irritated with life right now; on the border of being really angry and this helped calm me down. Thanks so much for the entry
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Love this! Wonerfully written, great rhyme...pricelss punchline. 10 out of 10
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Agreeing very much with the poet below, on the Gypsie matter. I find thisd to be a very interesting piece indeed. You're a fantastic writer with a wonderful point of view. Great job.
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Very good ...
although I have an affinity for gypsy music and camps, I well understand that a Brit may have witnessed a different side of them. I did like your poem and kinda knew where you were leading me before I got to the end. I had to smile at the humor though! joy
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Oh my, this made me smile, the rhyme complete with Olde English and Cockney worked well, yes I could imagine Gypsies having the temerity to take the gates for scrap!
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Funny, interesting
I'll admit, the title got my interest so I had to peek...I know God has a sense of humor and I am smiling along side Him. Well done, I like the twist. But hmmm, if the gates are pearly - where is the steel? -
LOL this put a smile on me boatrace!
glib and light hearted but the form is excellent, with an uninterrupted flow of rhyme and rythmn. Nice one!
. Rewarded 4
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lovely written
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This one is just great.
Well written and I love the humor in it. Bravo.
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Ha Ha I love it though its great. i really enjoyed the laugh. And your right in a spot or two it seems a little rough but it is really well written. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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Glad it gave you a smile. I will try and tidy it up later. Thanks very much for commenting. Cheers, jimmy
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About as politically incorrect as you can get, but yes, it certainly made me smile!!!
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Hi there, Jeff. Yes, a bit naughty, I know. Why no pieces from you lately - are you too busy with the mega contest? I haven't taken part, partly because I helped to sponsor it but - mainly - because I seem to be going through a different phase and I'm finding it somewhat difficult to control whatever muse is amusing herself at my expense. (like your new pic - although you do look somewhat hangdog). jimmy
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