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Find the Words

Find the rhythm
Let it rhyme
Love the words
Make them mine

Find the pulse
Underneath
Throbbing passion
My heartbeat

Find the notes
Harmonic
Ringing souls
True magic

Find the steps
Show them flow
Entrancing me
Swift and slow

Find the soul
Inside me
Shining clearly
Bright and free

Breathe the rhythm
Love the rhyme
Sing the words
They are mine



Author notes

Wow! It rhymes AND it's serious! Poems can do that?

MeNoEmo - Ladybug lands on lee

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 40 of 40

  • MeNoEmo
    2 days ago
    Edit | Reply
    LOL, nice AN!Very moving poem!Nice!

  • Seasonings silver member
    2 days ago
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    That was awesome!
    I could never write anything with rhyme and make it sound write! Thanks for entering!

  • Rhythm Child silver member
    November 14
    Edit | Reply
    thankyou very much for entering
    i wish you all the best of luck
    Billy (Rhythm Child)

  • Lady-Kalina
    November 12
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry
  • Topnotchsy
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    Like this a lot. Love the idea, and the short, quick lines gave it a different feel than most poems, which I liked a lot. Congrats on past trophies for this piece, I imagine it will win more in the future.

    edit: Looks like I commented on this already, so here's to a poem that's an enjoyable read more than one time.

  • AutumnsFlame
    September 29
    Edit | Reply
    Since the lines were really short, I don't think it gave you much room to be creative with it... It didn't give you enough space for imagery. I would definetly try writing something with longer lines, if I were you. Nice try here, but I don't think this entry is right for my contest. Maybe next time!

  • delightfulmess gold member
    September 19

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent it was like a chant!
    Or some kind of spell.

    Well done and thank you for entering my contest.



    Delila

  • the-gifted
    September 8
    Edit | Reply
    EXCELLENT. This is exactly what I am looking for. good luck in the contest.

  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    September 6

    Edit | Reply
    Good rhythm and flow to this. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.

    ♥
    whisper

  • LadyDementia gold member
    August 27
    Edit | Reply
    Hehe love you AN's! A great piece, has a wicked rhyme and beat to it. Good luck

  • Hetha gold member
    August 20
    Edit | Reply
    You did very well with the rhyme and rhythm in this write. I enjoyed reading this very much. Thank you for gracing my contest with it, and good luck.

  • Chocoholic156
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    Very good, I like how you had a nice rhythym going the whole time and never let up, I read it a couple times to check and see if you really get the beats down, and you did! Very nice. The only thing that I would even think about changing is these two lines:

    Find the steps
    Show them flow

    they just didn't seem to flow as well as the rest of it. But even without that , you did very wel. You have a nack for this type of poetry. Good job, and good luck.

  • wishin4...
    August 15
    Edit | Reply

    Impressive

    I love the opening and closing. Simply stated yet, complex.

  • Topnotchsy
    August 15
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write. Love the rhythm and the rhyme. The short lines make the rhyming more difficult (as you have fewer words to play with) and that often leads to forced rhyming, but I did not feel that with this piece.

    The comment in the Author Notes made me laugh. Almost all of my poetry is rhyming, and while I often write humor, I find rhyming can add to any mood when done right. (If you get a chance to check out my poem "The Secret of the Stars" you can let me know if it falls into the "rhymes and is still serious" category.

    Nice write!!

    . Rewarded 8

  • Frodofan silver member
    August 15

    Edit | Reply
    Not bad. I particularly find your author's notes amusing. How true. Sad how so many people think of rhyme...

    Thanks for entering. Sure all/most writers will relate.

  • mesmerized--x
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    the rhyme and flow of this is amazing (obviously haha)

    goodluck in the contests

  • PatheticKt
    August 14

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely flow- fluidic and the theme isn't that serious but yes, kind of begging the reader to be observant and contemplate the unknown
    A simple write and yet the persona interacts with the reader which I find, well, hard to write or something ^^'
    Good job with this piece, all right
  • luvdrkchocolate
    August 9
    Edit | Reply
    Oh. This is a cute little poem that you have going on here. It was in very short form and witht he condensed way you wrote I read it like it was very fast. I don't know if that's the way you meant for it to be read but I thought it sounded really good that way. You did a good job of expressing yourself here.
  • usedup gold member
    August 3
    Edit | Reply
    nice thyme thank you for entering

  • paw-writer silver member
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    Nice flow and rhythm in this write. Great job! Thanks for entering my contest. Blessings, Patty

  • HereComesTheSun
    August 1
    Edit | Reply

    i love this rhyme pattern

    i do this pattern all the time and i love to read it great job and good luck

  • DavidTennantRocks silver member
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesome poem. I loved the way it rhymed and flowed. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.

  • Peripatetic gold member
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    This has a jazzy, syncopated rhythm not usually seen with such a regular rhyme scheme. I especially like the use of slant rhyme with "rhyme/mind", indicating a willingness to rhyme "outside the box" to achieve your purpose. Another nice feature was the mirrored thesis statement and summation of the first and last stanza. Nicely wrapped.


  • lindaburns
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    Judge:
    One of my rules is “proper punctuation”. I failed to take into account that some poems run headlong one word after another needing no punctuation. This is one of those. Good luck in the contest.


  • Angelic Vampiress
    July 12
    Edit | Reply
    this is an ok poem

  • Angelo di Luce gold member
    July 10
    Edit | Reply
    well done
    thank you for your entry
    all the best in the contest

  • Sketchin
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    very cool, alittle like my style....that's a plus.
    Very nice, thank you for entering..and good luck.

  • DD Sai
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    Wickedly Awesome! Loved the flow, it kept me reading.

    Find the soul
    Inside me
    Shining clearly
    Bright and free

    Breathe the rhythm
    Love the rhyme
    Sing the words
    They are mine

    All time favorite part

    . Rewarded 4


  • SilverWolf
    June 20
    Edit | Reply
    awesome

  • frownsnfreckles
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    A great beat to this piece, the timing is excellent and the words flow well to the rythmn.

    'Find the steps
    Show them flow
    Entrancing me
    Swift and slow'

  • NurseyPoo
    June 20
    Edit | Reply

    Absolutely

    Make the words yours always and you did that here. Great rhyme and flow. All in all a great write.


  • Olivia33
    June 20
    Edit | Reply
    "Breathe the rhythm
    Love the rhyme
    Sing the words
    They are mine" - Nice!


  • JWGoethe
    June 20

    Edit | Reply
    finding the words is always a challenge. Making them truly yours is the place where individual expression comes into play. This is a nice write, though not my usual cup of tea (as they say). Keep writing, and we'll keep reading. By the way, even deeply personal writes, which might on the face of them seem to offer little to other readers, often make fine entries, as we each bring our own light to shine on the works of others, and find our own meanings, so I would encourage you to post even those that you feel the most skeptical about. They are often the real hidden treasures.

  • LionessK Greeters member
    June 4
    Edit | Reply

    welcome to allpoetry

    Nicely done. Your words do have a good rhythm... easily sung (as previously suggested). I like the little twist on the first stanza put to the last. Thank you for sharing your words... and rhyme
    Keep writing on.

    ~Kristy

  • myrataal silver member
    May 27

    Edit | Reply

    Ah. I do not know why ...

    but I sang these words on the music of Andante, Andante ... by ABBA. And it worked well.

    A lovely verse, and seeing that you read my poem, A Kitchen and a Kiss (but did not comment, sadly ) I thought I would visit YOU, instead ...



    Welcome at Allpoetry.

    Myra

    • Still Anonymous
      May 27

      Edit | Reply
      Hello, Myra! Thank you for commenting on my poem "Find the Words." I'm glad you liked it. And thank you for the applause. I *like* applause.

      I'm afraid I don't listen to much modern music, and I've never heard the song Andante, Andante. I used to have a goat named Andante, but that's not the same thing. I'll have to look it up. My mother always says (paraphrased) that poems are just songs that just haven't been put to music yet. (I happen to agree with her.)

      I did, indeed, read "A Kitchen and a Kiss," and I thought about leaving a comment. Unfortunately, I'm not a big fan of free verse, so while I didn't dislike it, and, in fact, liked it enough to finish it (which is saying something for free verse), I couldn't really think of anything interesting to say. (Not to mention, I was trying to read two other poems and having trouble with the internet connection at the same time. Sometimes, I multi-task insanely.) It seemed okay, but not the kind of thing that makes me jump up and down and giggle (or have some similar, but more sane, reaction).

      I visited your profile. I'm glad you're a Christian. I am, too.

      ~Still Anonymous

      • myrataal silver member
        May 27
        Edit | Reply

        Hallo SA

        Thank you for your response ... Seeing that you are new to AP, just the following information:

        Clicking on a featured poem, without commenting, wastes the points of the writer of the poem you view. At the stage that you clicked, you took 50 of my points, without a return. A return means to be kind enough to leave a comment, EVEN though it may be only be a subjective expression of your opinion about the poem. But: one should try to be objective and really look with the heart of an artist.

        Poetry is NOT only about free verse, you know. As writing is not only about prose. Even should you not like free verse, you may at least try to comment ... not so?

        Thank you, Poet.

        Myra

  • SummerHasGone
    May 26
    Edit | Reply

    great write!

    i think this poem is awesome! i found it to have nice flow, and it was very refreshing from the normal humdrum, my life suxx kind of poem (i believe i just insulted myself there! ) i love the second stanza, especially the line "throbbing passion." it just says so much without having to say much. beautifully written, simple and elegant


  • shattering gyspy
    May 23

    Edit | Reply
    Alrighty! This is a wonderful poem. Just a few things there and there. First, stanza 3 seems really awkward...Not sure why, but the beats are off for sure, then rhyming seems skimpy. Stanza 5, the second line needs one more beat, perhaps adding the word of in the middle so it read, "inside of me"?

    This is very well penned. The great thing about poetry is it doesnt need to make sense, and people dont need to like it. It's unique because it's YOURS. Well done and welcome to AP!!!

    Mylee
    • Still Anonymous
      May 25
      Edit | Reply
      Hi, Mylee!

      Thank you for taking the time to review my poem and welcome me to AP. New online communities are always a little disconcerting for me.

      I appreciate your suggestions for improving it and I'm glad you liked it. I daresay I like it myself.

      You're quite right. Some of my poems don't make sense to anyone except me and, subsequently, will never see the light of day, but I have a special place for them anyway.

      Thank you!

      ~Still Anonymous
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