They'll teach you to dream
With their tongue in their cheeks
Instill you with values
Earth belongs to the meek
But the sword has evolved now
And my words are weak
Circumstance is a cage
And broken dreams pave the streets
He climbed dozing corpses
On his way to the stage
And we'll swoon amongst masses
At the fantastic parade
Encouraged by graced covers
Preaching of "man self made"
While the lepers work the backshifts
And the pretty get paid
So keep you dreams small, Kid
ANd avoid the crushing defeats
Dream of getting the bills paid
And eating next week
One more sunset with your lover
And shoes on your feet
Cause someone truly self made, Kid
The worlds yet to meet
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i like the style and the flow this is a good peice and is very deep in meaning
love always erica carnea
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hmm, odd that you say you don't get my work when you have a depth in your own as well, like the fly that doesnt recognize other flies, that' a compliment btw.
Hmm I don't like rhyme usually, but you stay far away from that usually clicky poppy, rhyme that makes me chew my tongue off. It's good, a few lines kind of stand out as overused in the general domain of english literature, but you had some stronger imagery to counter balance it, There isnt alot to wade through to find the meaning in this, which isnt a bad thing, It has an odd subtly at parts, where in others it's blaringly obvious, I wouldn't call you a rembrandt of words, but you could get there
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a lesson in realism, i love your style of writing, your flow is so spot on makes me wish i was at your level, who knows one day......whats that skip, theres two kids trapped on a raft heading for the waterfall, about 5 miles east of here..
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you're a funny one
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