a skeleton with beauty eyes.

so maybe you and i were
never meant to be
connected together in stanzas or
names written together with 'and's in between
but i wrote your name
in lines on mirrors, only to
snort you up like wishes and fragments of
hope
and then later when i grew up
dreaming of you with ufo's on my tongue

(you had parrots on your shoulders
and the most crooked most beautiful crown of needles
you grinned and with your canines exposed
i could almost believe you were a sinner)

you were the blackest (k)night i had ever seen
and rain for days
eyes like icy caverns and lightning-struck skies
strategically placed over too-sharp cheekbones
that swept through me
and i was just that--
thunder after the lightning
your skin was an exotic lily
that i watered with poetic praises; you
looked at me, hard
through indian eyelashes
whispering "you asked me who i am"

but just imagineimagine, how enchanted i was
to hear [your]] soft lips whisper sweet italian sentiments in my
nighttime ears and to be held by you
through the bullshit
and all my delusions crumbling
like babylon all around me
i'm sorry
i never meant to become an empty envelope
on your doorstep
or the cork in your wine bottle
i just couldn't handle not being the girl in your dreams
or even your crazy asymmetrical poetry

i was just crazy in love
or maybe crazy in lust
but either way it was only with the idea of you
--your scarred voice, your hasty hipbones,
and never really your inability to keep your hands to yourself
or your baggage
i wanted to be the creak in your floorboards
and never the recipient of your half-chewed lies,
i can admit it just as well as i can lie to myself too

so i earned it,
i earned losing you because i couldn't admit
you were right about everything
including your own mistakes.
(but here you are, even though lightning never strikes the same place twice
but i feel the electrical currents crushing my shoulders like all the world
and i think it's the most lovely weight i've ever felt)