pent-up.

i wanted
my world to melt.

liquify and crash
around me
like a dream.

i was a goddess with
rainbow fucking eyes and
scabbed lips
lovebites on my hipbones and
margarita salt around my eyes and you

were under the pretense of forever

we held each other through nightmares of growing up and
became addiction-riddled in the process
singing ourself to alcoholic sleep in
the bathtub when we couldn't even
fake a smile long enough to climb out and know
the world was okay
even if we weren't

so who was i
to leave you in your love.stupor
for the dream of a dream
that's been visiting in my sleep for
weeks now
am i any better than you?
did you deserve to abandon me more?
but i can't count the times you've hurt me
i can only see the beginnings of
new albums

even if you can never see the end of ours