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I Feel Like a King

On our wedding day
when you wore that gorgeous
red wedding sari and jewelry
and sat beside me,
You looked like a beautiful Queen
and I felt like a King.

When you kiss me while I sleep
and I wake to your soft kiss,
I am a fortunate King
and you are my sweet Queen.

When we are out walking together
You in a colourful sari of any shade,
look like an oriental queen
and I feel like a King.

Even when you wear a simple long skirt
or jeans and exotic boots,
you are a very elegant Queen
and you make me feel like a King.




Author notes

I am dedicating this poem to my sweet Wife Hafsa Bintay Faruq.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • penman gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    What a sweet and loving poem. Such a terrific expression of love for you wife. Thank you for sharing.


  • xBeCx
    October 19
    Edit | Reply
    Aww I like this it's got a touch of simpleness but it's really sweet.

    Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest.

    Rebecca

    x

  • xBeCx
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    Please put the option you have chosen in your N/A section, it states this in the rules

    Will come back and comment your poem when I get a little longer to write a decent comment

    Thank you

    Rebecca

    x

  • Bunny luv26
    October 16
    Edit | Reply
    It is nice to see a love like that exists. Beautifully written. Best of luck to you in all things!

  • carole21
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    nicely written . . liked "I wake to your soft kiss" and "you are a very elegant Queen" . . good luck in the contest


  • JaycobKay
    October 15
    Edit | Reply
    That was wonderfully cute, though I didn't like the last stanza as much.
    Beautiful write.

  • SilverScent gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    This is absolutely fantastic. I loved the simplicity and the sincerity you put into this. It gave me a fuzzy feeling inside, not many poems do that.
    Well done.
  • mcheadle
    September 30
    Edit | Reply

    A proud man you must be

    May you always keep this pride many years down the line...mac

  • judyjudyjudy
    September 18

    Edit | Reply
    You are indeed a fortunate man to have found happiness in love. I like the way you express it here and your is a lucky lady.

    Thank you for entering my contest.

  • Samplette gold member
    September 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very sweet write. Nicely done. Though, it doesn't go with this contest. Thanks for sharing.
    Sam

  • LadyDementia gold member
    August 29

    Edit | Reply
    Such a wonderful display of love and devotion. A very touching piece. Thanks for entering and good luck

  • lostangel07 silver member
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    This is a lovely piece, I can just see your beautiful wife on her happy day. It is lovely to see one so devoted to their spouse. Your writing is smooth and full of emotion. Thankyou for your write.

  • mina nagi gold member
    August 2
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the way you’ve emphasised the splendour beauty of your queen in each stanza that has made you feel as a proud King… inner feelings are hard to express but you’ve done very well doing so… though you might be feeling like a king, but she is the one who will be ruling your heart… one can tell this is written straight form heart…
    Good luck

    mina


  • SingPraiz4Hym
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderful love poem for your wife. Not sure how it fits into 'firsts' but I did enjoy it. Thanks for entering. Good luck.

  • lindaburns
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    Judge:
    It may just be me, but I get the idea she makes you feel like a King. It’s a nice poem. Thanks for entering it in my contest.


  • crimsondew silver member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    I am sure Hafsa will feel on the top of the world after reading this...All the best in the contest!

    There should be a comma, after line 4.Similar comas can be placed after lines 8, 12 and 16

    May Allah grant you both a happy married life.


  • dehydrated
    July 9
    Edit | Reply
    awww how sweet.


  • rhondasail
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    I would only suggest that instead of saying 'you look like a queen, or I felt like a king', express in the past present...'you were my Queen, I was your King'...it would make this a tad stronger, and there is a typo in the word 'jewelry'..otherwise it is a lovely, enthused loving write for your Queen and I am sure she will appreciate your words so tenderly laid down here. Peace and best of luck in the contest, Rhonda


  • Griswold silver member
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written dedication to your wife, very well done. I am sure she will appreciate the sentiments expressed. Thank you for entering...Scott

1 - 37 of 37