Wounded and staggering
I retreat into the wilderness of my soul
Here I can rest, and breath...
breathing free of your control
Introspecting to gather strength
contemplating your malicious woes
I can bear no more your twisted games
and rules that you change and impose
I broke loose from your clutching grasp
and I let go, of your deceitful allure
But still, you cross the line, and go way too far
How much more do you imagine... I can endure
My heart has been apprehended already, by your betrayal
a life’s lesson learned, still so tender to conceive
All I want now is to move on, and try to find myself
It's bad enough, this lifeless love, I shall grieve
I choose my own mountains and valleys now
as my tormented spirit escapes your regime
Distant dreams of running wild and running free
with every breath, I'll regain my self-esteem
Desperate to forge my own trek through unbeaten trails
I will seek the path where I'm no longer lost…but found
Where I can finally fill my lungs... and just be myself
in that enlightened new world... so much less confound
So you can keep up with all your coups
and strategies of deception as you choose
I’m already far beyond your reach
no longer exposed… to your abuse
Deeper I adventure, into the wilderness in my soul
I'm now walking amongst the wolves, like phantoms in the night,
If one day you come to realize what you have lost...
Don't turn back...this wolf will only elude from your sight...
Author notes
All I want from you
Is to forget about me...
All I want for me
Is to forget about you...
Just trying to move on and get through this rupture as gracefully as I can.
But no... no, life won't have it that way, now will it?
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything by IamRemy.
625 points, ended August 5, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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This is wonderful... flowed so well. Filled with emotion and voice, the reader really knows what you're talking about. I love this part:
"I choose my own mountains and valleys now
as my tormented spirit escapes your regime
Distant dreams of running wild and running free
with every breath, I'll regain my self-esteem"
As well as the last stanza. There have probably been many poems written on betrayal, but this one was unique and apart from the crowd. A wonderful poem. Good job with the HM, you deserved it! -
WOW
A very deep, emotional write showing the depths of your pain and your hope for the future. Breaking hearts are everywhere...I think we have all suffered at the hand of someone else...shame on them I say. Anyway...Great piece of poetry. Thanks for sharing.
Nevadapoet -
I love the darkness and truthfulness of this piece. You've captured the "whirlpool" of darkness, thats felt within the hidden corners of ones soul after a relationship go's a rye. I embrace this piece. My second trip here to read, has been just as stunning as my first. "Thank you" for taking the time to share here.
Mia
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Brilliant!!
When I read this, I think about the relationship I have with my (estranged) mother. She was absolutely horrible to me all my life and about 4 years ago, I had to cut off the poisionous relationship, and do just as you said, "...with every breath, I'll regain my self-esteem." I'm definitely going to bookmark this one...LOVE IT, man!!!
Deveraux
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Hmmm. Great imagery, and very heart-felt poem. I recognise the need to break away entirely from a bad raltionship, and how bitterness will be the major emotion for some time yet. But, love is never wasted, even if it doesn't work out between people. It is the powering force of this world - and maybe, of the next! Rest, and you will heal, and let love back in again.
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Wow!
Very transparent poem! In a good way. The imagery was fantastic! I love the pitcure!
I broke loose from your clutching grasp
and I let go, of your deceitful allure
But still, you cross the line, and go way too far
How much more do you imagine... I can endure
Very powerful words in here! Outstanding!
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Merry meet,
Congratulations on winning an Honorable Mention. There were a lot of good Poets and poetry entered in this contest. I'm glad that I didn't have to judge.
Congratulations again on your win.
Amythest
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I like how I can see you through the poem. Its original, but not clouded. I can understand you as an author.
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I have to say that this was a up-close and in-your-face, 'break free with the beast' sort of piece (lol). You put this together very nicely and poured your allegorical heart out here. I admire that determination you depicted here: "I'm done. Ready and able to go it alone". Yeah, in spite of the scars and pain...the (maybe not so) subtle 'games-playing' that so many do. I like games; just not the type indicated above. You did a great job on this.
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Great entry into anything and everything contest. Liked the picture and words you have penned in this poem. Liked the sentiments expressed so well in these lines, the flow, rhythm and rhyme of the piece.
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I read your home page
I would say you quite a poet,
your words are beautiful
your imagery is excellent,
lifes up and downs, it does help you find yourself,
it never is easy but we always take something with us.
you have put this together beautiful.
full of passion and emotions.
God bless...
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A very poetic way of expressing your heart gracefully and the challenges that love has forged upon it.
I really enjoyed how you combined nature and love to create this very intriguing piece.
Excellent penning!!
Linda
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Wow!
I love how you spin the imagery in each line, creating a clear picture in the minds eye. Excellent! This is one of my favorite poems I've read today. I understand your poem and the emotions behind it...been there myself. keep up the good work!
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Being the object of someone's control is the worst kind of any relationship. love is not allowed to breath a life of its own, I liked the way it flowed freely it suited your theme.
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excellent poetry-I liked where you put
" I choose my own mountains and valleys now"-this is a powerful message to anyone of your determination to be you just as you are
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A lone wolf without his vixen is a sad creature in deed, perhaps there is a need for him to find a new adventure and seek new playmates. Hope you find the one who makes you howl. C
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very well done I enjoyed it thoroughly thank you for the good read, Boog
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Very deep..this goes into the complexities of love.
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This is a very good poem. I can feel the way you do with the emotions that run so deep. Keep up the good work.
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ooh this is a really powerful and touching write! I especially liked:
I broke loose from your clutching grasp
and I let go, of your deceitful allure
But still, you cross the line, and go way too far
How much more do you imagine... I can endure
but its hard to pick a favourite line out of such a stunning piece. Thanks for writing and thanks for sharing 
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It's hard to find your true self after someone has messed with your head, but when you make the break and make a start of it, it's a new beginning, and it makes a good poem, too.
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Good use of free verse. I really felt like I could empathize with the author. Thanks for sharing!
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your thoughts were beautifully penned from deep emotions. excellent, and enjoyable!
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Awesome
What an emotional poem. Thanks for sharing.
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Gr8
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intresting and ... who knows
angered -
sad but lovely
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I LOVE IT
You are truely talented at expressing exactly what you mean to say and it just hits you with sooo much emotion
i love your use of language and this is for sure one of my favourite poems i have read
BRAVO
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I love this poem, the anguish you expressed in each crimson dripping word was done so beautifully and so eloquently it made me really feel a vast amount of empathy. For a person who hasn't read anything but her own work for quite a while, this is a pleasant comeback to the poetry world, and I humbly thank you. I thought of so many different scenererios this could have been and it amazed me that you could make all these things pop into life at once, so many nuances. Any way, great job and good luck in the contest.
Tiphanie -
Wonderful with dark overtones. To be able to lay one's emotions and feelings bare for all to read, as you have done, is the mark of a true wordsmith.
A little awkward at times, line 24 in particular seems a little off to me, but the texture of this poem, its evocative nature, so completely envelopes the reader that one hardly notices it.
Great job.
. Rewarded 6
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I know it sounds crazy, but the pain does ease up with time. I guess its a different amount of time for everyone, though. Learning that the hard way. But I've found that pouring your energy into something else you love will keep your mind busy so you don't think about it as often. Hope that helps a little and I love your poem...very deep.
. Rewarded 6
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A very intense and soulful write, that could only come from an angry, painfully broken heart. I hope you find peace and comfort in your onward journey toward happiness.
Blessings,
Sassy
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Ah, yes, better to be on a hot tin roof than in a cool room with a contentious woman, better to run with the wolfs, free, than wear a bridle of contempt. Glad you broke the chains, the poem was beautiful, lots of great metaphors.
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I like the thought "I choose my own mountains and valleys now"
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wonderful
Very nicely written. A sentiment I fear too many have come to know. Extricating yourself from a relationship like that is not easy! I really like the expression of freedom at the end. Especially the wolves, one of my favorite creatures.
. Rewarded 4
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simply an amazing write...
To capture the essence of your thoughts, and poetically place them for all to share, is the sign of an artist. Your wording and placement is superb, and carries the story of your heart across very well.
It is at times when the writer opens up the soul to spill ink and leave what lies within, that we as readers are gifted. You have created such an amazing piece that encapsulates the very emotions felt. That is not always as easy as it looks, but you did it in style.
Be true to yourself before you can be true to others, and the future will make your steps all worthwhile.
Hats off to you.
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Hi Ron, I could have sworn that I had commented on this piece of work but don't see myself down there with the others. You already know that I love this poem, its content and the way that it as been presented and for me it is an excellent contender in this contest. Very well done and good luck. Val
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thank you, terrific
you have engendered my quest
please e-mail me
compro@compro7.com
to discuss strategies
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Deep good poetry.
It has depth, colour,and a fine theme.
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Coo
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Do not forget the memories of love ...
neither the memories of loss; the beauty lies in the knowing which is what.
Blessed be.
Myra
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Excellent
That was a beautiful poem. I liked the path of liberation the person in the poem took. Any path to freedom is wild. However, It's the wilderness you must walk through in order to be free. -
Outstanding
I thought you expressed your thoughts and feelings very well in this poem. The imagery was excellent and you really brought the whole concept of wolves to life as the theme of this poem though really it is about losing someone special. I enjoyed reading this a lot the language is well-chosen and the rhyme scheme is subtle and works well. Best of luck in the contest.
. Rewarded 6
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That was beautiful man. Very well written, nice rythem, good write.
-My Symphony Rings. -
Excellent
Extremely well written, and you have my empathy. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one.
. Rewarded 4
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Anguished
Clearly felt the anguish and loss depicted in the poem. Really enjoyed the author's notes for deeper understanding.
. Rewarded 4
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this was a great and deep poem, i love how you said that you chose your own mountains and valleys now, this is just an amazing poem.
. Rewarded 4
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I do like the excerpt about "My heart has been apprehended already, by your betrayal". I had a taste of that myself recently. I'm sorry you had to go through this.
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sound like you
may have had some heavy hurt inflicted or your heart and your spirit, not many things can do that at this level besides love, It is a very deep and exceptional write that expresses that emotion well, I have been there , more than once. It is what brought me to AP a little over a year ago. I can relate to you feelings. It will get better. Good write.
. Rewarded 6
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This is a very very painful poem to read and how real it is is very frightening. Be sure you know yourself as well as you think you do, closing yourself off can sometimes lock you deeper in your own torment. You blame someone very well in this poem. If this is how you feel, then I am going to venture to say that the other person is feeling the same way. Maybe you should be holding on instead of letting go. Perhaps, more than one person feels betrayed. It is sad for two people to get to this point. Please don't be upset at my comment.
. Rewarded 8
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I hear you
Within the running away from that which feels is smothering you make sure the place in which you are running is one true. For often as we work hard to leave one which controls we often fall into another of
adictive value. To only find we have gone deeper into the hell we so are trying to flee from . I am here if you would like to talk message me anytime and get it all off your chest -
wow.. the words are so powerful that I can feel the heart ache deep in my soul ( I'm going through the same)...I wish you well in your journey to move on. writing is helping me get through it. please read my "Queen Bee" and let me know what you think. I loved the last lines. Keep writing
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good poem, the emotion is obviously there but it isn't like pathetic or whiny... its imbedded inside stiff and cold words like "regime" ,"strategies" etc...
trekingthen wilderness is a great metaphor for moving on... -
Your poem has an honest diction, as someone else put it, "You pour raw emotion onto the page". Wonderfully written; a true look into your struggle with moving on. Very open voice. You hold nothing back. It's impossible to walk away from a poem where the author is throwing everyhting they have into it.
. Rewarded 6
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well done
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Amazeing work love the detail, and emotion this portrays. the whole thing in general flows smoothly, very dark and powerfull.. hope to see more from you
. Rewarded 4
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This is great very heart felt!
I choose my own mountains and valleys now
as my tormented spirit escapes your regime
Distant dreams of running wild and running free
with every breath, I'll regain my self-esteem
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I loved how much feeling you put into this write.
Be sure to forget before you move on.
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Well worded and explains so much of how you are feeling. I love the last line, it shows how strong you really are given the situation!
. Rewarded 4
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Author Note
I compeletly love the author note
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Such thought-out, heartfelt words. Wow.
Well done
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wow ....Deja Vu man.... These kinds of relationships take so much out of your soul.....I pray that you recover. This was a good read, passion, anger, alot of darkness. But I'm sure you can write your way back into the light. Write on man!
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Excelent poem. I loved the last Stanza.
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I was captivated by the raw emotion you expressed so powerfully through this, especially in the first stanza alone.
Daring and honest this reaches beyond regular and is just fantastic; my favourite line
I can bear no more your twisted games
Wonderful poem
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
. Rewarded 6
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I choose my own mountains and valleys now
as my tormented spirit escapes your regime
Distant dreams of running wild and running free
with every breath, I'll regain my self-esteem
A very strong and intense piece of poetry loaded with powerful emotions!! A terrific work indeed! Keep rocking!! -
Deep anguish, you did a great job communicating this, very beautiful comparisons, great write! i enjoyed reading this!
. Rewarded 4
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I love the way you pour raw emotion onto the page and make it rhyme too. Just one suggestion and that is in stanza 4, line 2. The word should be changed to 'learned' not learnt ... I think. In any case, sometimes women can be frightful trying to turn men into elephants ... not wanting them to forget. The analogy of the wolf is apt because you might turn around and devour her
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I like the choice of wolf as the animal, as they mate for life. The words that you chose were strong and clearly got your ideas across. There were some rhythmic snags that threw me off, but overall I found it enjoyable.
. Rewarded 4
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Deeper I adventure, into the wilderness in my soul
I'm now walking amongst the wolves, like phantoms in the night,
If one day you come to realize what you have lost...
Don't turn back...this wolf will only elude from your sight...
this is very well done, an enjoyable read! thank you for sharing!
~ tim
. Rewarded 6
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Love the Exorcism of the Beast!
This is amazing, so moving and descriptive, captivating the reader throug from start to end.
It is also highly profound and reflects for sure the attempts to exorcise the demon of your past from within, to progress on into a life minus the obvious negativity and wounding.
The line that reads "But still, you cross the line, and go way to far" should that read "But still, you cross the line, and go way too far" (too) or am I off beam here?
Very deep stuff and a joy to read, it really draws you and with a need to read more, like a drug to the curiosity.
Great work, love it, well done!
Hope you are in print? If not you sure should be.
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz xx
. Rewarded 8
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This write is so full of strong emotions and pain. But it is also woven with deep insight into what one needs to do in order to move on. The journey you speak of here, into the depths of your soul to reflect on yourself, and what it is you truly want and need now, is necessary in order to heal and come out a whole and healthy person. I am sorry this pain is personal, but it seems as if you are a very strong person who knows what needs to be done in order to take care of yourself. Nice write! Blessings, Patty
. Rewarded 8
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great
sounds like someone hurt you....Liked the "retreating into the soul"..into the place where peace is always waiting for you. -
Thumbs Way Up
Superb imagery cloaked with sadness. Well done. Hope you'll visit my page. Check out "Apache Odyssey" and continue from there if you're inclined. Again, very nice work!
. Rewarded 4
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At Last, a poet with poetry very similar to my own. I love rhyme but free verse seems to have taken over on AP. I love this poem and can feel the emotion and pain in it, however, I think there are one or two places where the flow is a little uneven, and of course one or two spelling mistakes....
line7 should read...bear
line9.....loose
line14....myself
line23....myself
I do hope that you take no offence with my critique as non is intended. I truly love this poem and I am going to put you on my favourites list so I can read some more of your work. I would be very interested to know what your thoughts are on one of my poems "Soul of the Wilderness" I will post you the link, I think that you will find it different but similar!! Val
. Rewarded 8
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With reading this write each word seems to keep the reader chugging on, like it is running in the forest, escaping some hazed creature. I loved the images you have painted and the rhymth you have chosed to develope the effectiveness which is quite extrordinary.
Great write my friend.
. Rewarded 6
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WOW!
I am speechless.
You put alot of imagery into this.
Took alot of time and thought.
A well written piece.
And i myself have been in your shoes
to where i wanted to vent outand yell at the world.
You pull the reader right into your words.
I was clinging to every word.
An amazing job my friend.
Keep it up.
-Mandi
. Rewarded 6
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