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The Gardener dead-heads roses on a Wednesday

 

 

There are words at the bottom of her garden

where the baby palm grows

spikes out to the dining room window

 

the gardener sees green as healthy

- he hated it

she breathed out for him

many a time, her lungs filled with silence and almostscreams

in the hours before she went mad

it was obvious to some

 

to others, they all thought she was the same -

water poured down the drain

she swept up moss

& snail shells

turning coils speckled brown and black

greying into the semi-hidden sun

 

if she didn't laugh now, it would be bad

she dead-heads the miniature pink rose bush

& the single vagrant red stands alone

grows; painful like a usurper amongst the thorns

 

bloodpink and reddied lips

the words picked and planted

form the beginning

 

 

 

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    'There are words at the bottom of her garden'

    I love this first line heaps, it's like an umbrella over the whole poem for me.
    May there be ever more springs and summers, like the ones which are still on their way.

    Sol


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    The pruning of the heart's garden is always painful because that pink rose bush once were in full bloom, but like the lives of flowers, we too have to "dead-head"...often more than we thought we would.

    I love this poem, gilly...i love how deep you dug to unearth this and still to write it as beautifully as you did. I love the fact that "beginning" is the last word here... that's life, a series of endings and beginnings - of course it's the process inbetween that often takes the longest.

    Wonderful, multi-layered poetry...beautiful, meaningful, real.

    much love


    ~ Nicolette


  • RollingStone
    July 19

    Edit | Reply

    excellent!

    the art of pruning is something we all need to learn...metaphorically speaking, as this poem does.

    I love the multi-layers here.
    really wonderful.


  • Lucy. gold member
    July 17

    Edit | Reply
    Mmmm, so prettily descriptive.

    almostscreams, love that word.

    I like this very much. Hope you're good....didn't hear back from you yesterday.


  • apples fell gold member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply


    Hey Gillian. I’ve only got a few critical things to mention. “the gardener in her sees green as healthy”, this lines feel strange in the poem. I like how it ties in, but think it could be worded differently. The third stanza is wonderfully creative. I love the ideas there in general and have nothing to mention. “searching for weaker seams”, this doesn’t seem to add anything to the poem. In general I thought this stanza was worded a bit odd. Especially when you try to read it out loud. Doesn’t flow well at all. The ending is different. I like how you end it on a thoughtful note. Nothing that feels too, final. As the poem itself is mysterious. All in all this is great stuff. Hopefully you are doing alright. We need to talk on the phone soon or on here at least. I miss you.

    ;


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    You know I think pruning is another analogy for chopping out the bits of our lives we don't need, it makes the rest that feels the beauty bloom all the more. z hun, your garden has the strength and wisdom to keep on flowering Love, C


  • misselaineous gold member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    it is a lovely garden
    and you are a lovely person
    and this is a lovely poem
    which sighed to me


  • The Bear
    July 16
    Edit | Reply


  • evil tempest
    July 16
    Edit | Reply


  • account disabled
    July 16
    Edit | Reply

    I've read this loud
    it's amazing
    like a shinto garden
    lets you let go


  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply


    Your garden is beautiful and will continue to grow more beautiful.

    I love the way you can take something so simple, and make it so complex. This is not a talent I've ever really had. Your poetry is growing as well.




  • Cvillelisa
    July 16

    Edit | Reply


    I don't see this as sad so much as a realization of a bit of Wisdom and a new Beginning.

    I like that big hanging pause after beginning -- it is very suggestive of just that beginning
    and we don't really know where that will lead




  • ardentMarch gold member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    "she breathed out for him

    many a time, her lungs filled with silence and almostscreams

    in the hours before she went mad"

    this poem is felt so clearly .......


  • Rowan gold member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    It's funny how others can percieve us, or rather how we present ourselves, while inside our hearts are rising and ready to burst. I like Mary's analogy of a pressure cooker, lol. And yes, makes me ache. Lovely hon.


    • NurseChilly gold member
      July 16
      Edit | Reply
      thank you Kathleen.. glad it bubbled up on you, tis all about making new soup

  • Cvillelisa
    July 16
    Edit | Reply


    Maybe she should have a name or the title could be The Gardner. Seems like a new person here -- rather than the Book of Days person. Well to me anyway...



    Some potential Edits:

    when searching for weak seams - not sure how that fits with deadheading the roses??

    I think you could fiddle with this:

    with the one red vagrant rose

    to maybe:

    with the single vagrant red
    or
    with the one vagrant red

    we know its a rose bush cause you say rose bush in the line above.

    bloodpink and reddied lips -- could probably be cut -- actually that whole stanza could go without losing much.

    Perhaps an ending not so pat, something like:


    growth is all around
    the words picked and planted
    form the beginning



    which is kind of cool cause the end is then the beginning.

    Some thoughts for you Ms.Chilly

    Love.

    xo


    • NurseChilly gold member
      July 16
      Edit | Reply
      thank luv, have edited somewhat and played around... still meandering and pondering things..

      thank you for the heads-up though, always helps

  • Cat gold member
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    so vivid the setting
    and scene- so strong
    the emotion
    and pressure
    palpable really

    a boiling pot
    a pressure cooker

    this aches
    and makes the reader ache

    m


    • NurseChilly gold member
      July 16
      Edit | Reply
      thank you Mary Moo... glad you liked this.. for some reason the site ate my comment
1 - 19 of 19