mostly I was superior
to you and better
at even the
little things
like love and hate.
the minuscule
details that
didn't matter really-
chilly nights
when I wrapped
a sweater on
my shoulders and
told her that she
looked just like
you. even she knew
this wasn't a
compliment.
puny sets the sun
in the east and
I shield my
eyes from the
least of my problems.
"don't look at
me that way" but
we'll stay
glaring across
the front yard,
this is your
fault. I told
you so.
sometimes I am
mean and kind of stupid
and I make myself
laugh at how
crude I can be.
"you fuck everything
up" I say and I
can tell by the way
you look at me
that you might
dislike me a little
bit.
"quit being a bitch"
you mutter but
it's lost in
the clutter of
our marriage.
Author notes
so maybe I shouldn't have put this in the 'humor' category, but I made myself laugh. how fun it must be to be married.
A contest entry
- Hate by sheltered.
600 points, ended August 4, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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hmm, this is right on and rather insightful for someone who must still be unmarried...
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it's such a funny piece. yesterday i saw a couple bicker and bitch and then two minute later they were calling each other baby names and laughing. any 24/7 relationship can get on your nerves.. human beings are not meant to be joined to another person at the hip...oh gosh i don't like where this is going lol
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I like the way this comes across as completely honest.
Makes me glad i've never been married. -
this is a completely creative and yeah, fun, piece to read. I like when a writer can take something mundane (like marriage, I suppose) and pump it full of life. A very good entry
Love, Lane
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are you married? i was and this is how the little things become big things... and before you know it any time apart is welcomed... and when no longer do the two reside then you realize how much your marriage meant...
sorry, off track. point being you hit the nail on the head... great piece...
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no I've never been married. Maybe someday in the distant future I might, but it's not on my to-do list. That's why I write in characters that have done the things I haven't.
but I could see how things could start off small and lead to this.
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Good writing. Nothing critical to mention.
I truly think this is the way poetry should be,
just enough of your voice, mixed with a gorgeous
style of beat and format. Magic writing.
;
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You are right about the Rating.
Should have been rated Other Adult.
( Of corse thats just my opinion its your poem ) -
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It's in adult now.
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Wow.. this is awesome.
No wonder I've thus abstained.
More comment likely on sobernessness.....
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thanks
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