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Still...

I remember you
because I cannot forget you,
and I still love you
because I promised that I
would love you always,
and everyone tells me time
will heal my heart whole,
but, time doesn’t really care
if we are in pain or happy,
it slips through us like water
and never looks back.

I will write about you
when I miss you the most,
bring out the photographs
when I cannot sleep at night,
pour you a drink every now and then
because I truly believe

you would have done the same

if it had been you left behind

in a world without me.

In a list

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 95 of 95

  • Crystaltears
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    right now... at this moment.. hour..secound of my cursed life..... u took the very heart out of me agn... and agn and agn.... whr whn i close my eyes... he still haunts me...

    and I still love you
    because I promised that I
    would love you always,

  • I can relate..

    I felt your pain while I was reading this. I've been through something similar so I can definately relate to this piece! Congrats on the gold and winning the spotlight! Well deserved!!
  • Teardropz-x
    August 3
    Edit | Reply
    no bother : comment on mine please : x
  • Teardropz-x
    August 3

    Edit | Reply
    i felt your pain so much that poem is truly a masterpiece in my eyes , i congratulate you adn thanks for writing it amazing

    • Dalaney gold member
      August 3
      Edit | Reply
      it amazes me still how much this little poem brought out so many many kind thoughts and words from readers. Thank YOU for reading and sharing your comment. Love, Lane

  • nevadapoet gold member
    August 2

    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    I felt your pain...I have been in this place before...It's a sad, lonley, empty place. But time does heal...unfortunately, it never goes away.

    Great write.
    Nevadapoet
  • Very nice

    At first I thought that the griever might have been the butt-end of a break-up, but knowing that their significant other died makes it much more sad. You had my heart calling out to the speaker. I like the way you describe time, and I like the end a lot. Keep it up!


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 3
      Edit | Reply
      thank you very much. I hope you continue coming by. Love, Lane

  • Vozhd
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    I came across this because it was spotlighted. Scrolling down, I see you have three pages of comments. I can see why - you are very talented indeed.


    • Dalaney gold member
      August 3

      Edit | Reply
      ...i don't know about talented, but i do thank you for taking the time to read and to leave behind such kind words. Love, Lane
  • trekkergirl
    August 1
    Edit | Reply
    hummm.... I like this. However, I don't like being the one left behind. Good write tho


  • zochit2me gold member
    July 31
    Edit | Reply


    Oh Lane...

    I will write about you
    when I miss you the most,
    bring out the photographs
    when I cannot sleep at night,
    pour you a drink every now and then
    because I truly believe
    you would have done the same
    if it had been you left behind
    in a world without me.

    How sad and truly heart wrenching!



    ☼Becky☼

  • Birgitte silver member
    July 30

    Edit | Reply
    "bring out the photographs
    when I cannot sleep at night,
    pour you a drink every now and then"
    Those lines really stood out to me! I think most people relate to this piece - you've turned the cliché into original. One can always wonder how you do it...


  • xSarahx
    July 30

    Edit | Reply

    Teary eyed!

    This poem... wow. It's so touching, and it awoke my senses. Although it's really short, I really enjoyed it. The flow, the use of the lines, dragging on the words to carry the feeling on as we read it.
    I agree with babyqueen58; my favourite lines were also "but, time doesn't really care/ if we are in pain or happy,/ it slips through us like water/ and never looks back."
    Beautiful! Congrats!


  • babyqueen58
    July 29

    Edit | Reply

    Simply beautiful

    This poem touched me more than anything I have ever read. It reminds me of the way I think about my mother. I lost her when I was only two weeks old. Even tho I never really knew her, I can still feel her around me. My favorite part of the poem is, "but, time doesn't really care, if we are in pain or happy, it slips through us like water and never looks back." Very deep. Congrats on your win!!!


  • babygirl2582
    July 29
    Edit | Reply
    .....I forgot


  • babygirl2582
    July 29
    Edit | Reply

    Sad But Beautiful

    WoW...Tears formed. I hate to cry but I loved this. Congrats on your win!!

  • Hope Angel
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful. I can see why it won gold, and was spotlighted. Congrats. this was truely a joy to read.

  • ronnica
    July 29
    Edit | Reply
    My best read for today so gentle, smooth and heartfelt


  • Liliana 3
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!!! very very emotional it reminds me of me and my boyfriend how were always on and off and how I miss and need him, It's absolutely touching and creative good job I definately applaud you!
  • wow......

    i really love it, it's beautiful! yet simple and straight to the point.

  • Wow... you made me cry, this is just so touching, and so beautiful... truly a fantastic write!

  • Ithica silver member
    July 29
    Edit | Reply
    OMG!!! I have no words...

  • This made me cry

    These are things that go through my mind some times late a night when my husband leaves at 3am for work and i lie there awake and aching thinking what it would be like without him... I know in my heart that if something happened to him I would die of a broken heart.

    wonderful truthful write i made my heart ache
    -Sarahlynn

  • excellent

    very nice

  • Shya
    July 29

    Edit | Reply
    So beautiful, and flowed so well... so many touching phrases here, especially the last part. Congratulations on getting on the front page, and on getting your gold trophy. You deserve both. This poem, so filled with love and emotion, touched my heart.


  • nevadapoet gold member
    July 29
    Edit | Reply

    Like It

    Nicely written piece...a beautiful picture made with perfectly arranged words.

    Nevadapoet
  • this is so touchingly sad yet true and I can relate painfully well with the words that you wrote, I lost my father to Cancer when I was four years old and it is sad how at times we have to look back at photographs in order to remember
    -Meg

  • Such a beautiful poem! My mother passed away when I was 9, 10 years ago this December, and this poem reminds me so much about my family and how it affected them. I think the lines that have affected me the most are :

    "everyone tells me time
    will heal my heart whole,
    but, time doesn’t really care
    if we are in pain or happy"

    This poem certainly deserved the gold trophy to which it was rewarded! Thanks for sharing!


  • zochit2me gold member
    July 28

    Edit | Reply



    Such beautiful sentiments from one of AP's beauties

    ☼Becky☼

  • I love the power of your words..the confidence that your love gives you. Even though people are not in our lives anymore, the feelings remain. They are with us forever.
    This was such a beautiful piece..and so deserving of the Gold..maybe 2 Golds..lol
    Love
    Nor


  • earthstar
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for writing this my husband died this year. it brought tears to my eyes. I am missing him and taken out our photographs. my heart misses him very much. thanks for writing this it touched my heart.

    • Dalaney gold member
      July 28
      Edit | Reply
      I didn't know when I wrote this that I would touch and be touched by so many people. Thank you for writing. Love, Lane
  • So touching ...

    and "still" a love poem that says so much about the loss of a lover of which this is no compare. You certainly deserved this gold trophy! joy


  • sunshinegirl
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    WOW!!!!! This says everything I feel since I was the one left behind. I know there are others that feel the same way, just like me, not been able to find the words to say it, let alone this elegantly! What a beautiful job you did on this!

    Thank you for writing my thoughts and feelings out!

    Congrats on the well deserved Gold!!!!

    I would like to share this with another here, that recently lost her husband, if you would not mind.

  • Whooooooooo
    Hoooooooooo GOLD!!!!
    and 50 some responces. awesome.
    Joe

  • sandybeaches gold member
    July 28
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful! Touching! I could feel it! Pam


  • iberis amara
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    lovely poem. Extremely touching, the imagery is excellent... and everything is very well expressed. Thanks for sharing, keep writing.
    My favorite part:
    "I will write about you
    when I miss you the most,
    bring out the photographs
    when I cannot sleep at night,
    pour you a drink every now and then
    because I truly believe

    you would have done the same

    if it had been you left behind

    in a world without me."


  • Fourthaxis
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    "when I miss you the most,
    bring out the photographs"
    "pour you a drink every now and then"
    "you would have done the same
    if it had been you left behind
    in a world without me."
    What beautiful words! Yes, I'm sure he would have done the same! Don't we all?....
    Your write hit me very hard, maybe because I could relate so well to it. This was so true! You have a gift with words which so few of us receive. Keep up the good work!
    Anansey


  • A63-Angel
    July 28

    Edit | Reply

    been here

    wow! moved to tears by this beautiful piece. gold was well deserved here. i lost my first husband to suicide and still blame myself some 13 years later. you have my deepest sympathy for your loss if this is true. bless you!


  • marlene47 silver member
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, I know this feeling.
    I like the "time doesn't really care/ if we are in pain or happy,/ it slips through us like water/ and never looks back." Reading that just hurts. Still - perfect soft title with deep roots. That ending and the certainty of the other had things been reversed "left behind in a world without me" carries in it both a sharp and dull, heavy sadness. I enjoyed this beautiful read. I'll assume this is a true event and express my sorrow for your loss.

    Congratulations on the gold.
    Marlene

  • Rowan gold member
    July 28
    Edit | Reply

    I can see why this won. So beautifully sad. *sighs*

  • Eusebius
    July 28

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo

    So unutterably sad and so ineffably lovely! An absolutely wonderful poem, indeed! I loved it, loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo..

  • Poignant and eloquent. It has this moving imagery of film. A very emotion-filled poe
  • carole21
    July 28

    Edit | Reply

    sweet

    a very sweet love write for the prompt . . liked "it slips through us like water" and "you would have done the same if it had been your left behind" . . congrats on the trophy


  • She-ra
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    What's one to say -- empathetically, as a fellow poet, I find this piece spoken of the heart and written of the soul.

    You may be left in a world w/o this person, but look around, virtually you have the world @ your fingertips --

    Congrats on the gold - I'll be by to read up on some more of your work. Have a beautiful day, poetess.

    She-ra


  • rbruce gold member
    July 28

    Edit | Reply
    All I can say is that this a well crafted poem, although sad. It tells a truly beautiful story of true love.

  • Dalaney

    This was so sadly beautiful well deseved sweety!
    I was stuck on each line read it three times.
    You made me feel this verse.

    Hugss
    ~Lisa~


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    Wow! Gold, k-c.
  • Humm...mapping the missings souls..ah...well done..and my thanks for sharing such a wonderful write in my contest...
  • Topnotchsy
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful piece, I can see why it is so popular. Best of the luck in the contest, this one will be hard to beat.
  • This is deep in meaning and it really speaks to me through the words and contept. Wonderful composition, honestly stunning!! Good luck in the contest

    ~Emily~ xx

  • Thomas Scott gold member
    July 25
    Edit | Reply

    Like this a lot

    Had to come back and re-read it as so often happens with your poetry.
    This is wonderful.

  • solitarytear
    July 25
    Edit | Reply

    damn

    wonderful poem......one worthy of tears


  • Endeavor gold member
    July 25

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent


    I truly believe
    you would have done the same
    if it had been you left behind
    in a world without me.

    The opening words
    make the ending words
    so very powerful

    I feel them all from my past
    and it becomes personel to me

    I wish you well

    Rick

    . Rewarded 6


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    July 25

    Edit | Reply
    Mothers are so special to daughters as daughters are special to Mother's...I think yours would have been so amazed at how hers can pour her heart out and let the world see how much she loves. Love, C
  • ladyfalcon43
    July 24
    Edit | Reply
    wow that is wonderful. it makes me think of a lot of things in my life...

  • Moving

    Stop trying to make me cry!! Thank you


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    I know this feeling... *sigh*


    Loved this Lane, all the best.


    Love and peace always,
    mj.

  • Suzanne Dia gold member
    July 23

    Edit | Reply


    Time... slips by
    leaves love in the sieve
    even when we want to dump it
    we observe the crystals
    left behind by history
    and pour a full cup of memory

    I like mine strong and dark..and just sweet enough

    as he was.




  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    This is such a sad, yet very relatable piece for any reader who has been left behind. It is hard to get past any pain and see a future. Your words leave me completely breathless.
  • Very true. Time never heals.It either covers or uncovers, deceives or undeceives.
    Congrats. Thoughts expressed with finesse.
  • S-1 is well wriiten, but quickly turned colors like dipping a red brush in yellow hoping to achieve the some color ...

    S-2 is fantastic, but at that point in the work i would hope you would really punch the reader in the jaw ... other than saying ... "i will ..." which is extremely cliche in this type of write ...

    over all a pretty good work, but it makes me think you only licked the dew from one of an infinte amount of grass-blades that were screaming with your true emotions

  • Wow.. that is so sad... brought tears to my eyes! I have felt that ache before...


  • Sigh


  • ardentMarch gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    ..sigh...

    no words for this...thank you for writing & sharing your beautiful poetry.


  • PageTurner
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is so sad and beautiful
    You have touched my Soul...

    "but, time doesn’t really care
    if we are in pain or happy,
    it slips through us like water
    and never looks back."


    I can but only Sighhh, my Friend.

    ~ Nicky♥


  • tomisb gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Time don't do shit unless we choose to use it. Immortality is a creation of the living. We all have our rituals. Magic is what we create when we realize how much we can change the world with nothing at all.
    Love, Tom B.


  • PerVirtuous gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Everything that happens fills the cup that is our life. Nothing can ever be taken out of that cup... some things just stop filling it. All that filled it is still there and can never be removed. Changing dreams in mid-stream is one of the most difficult things imaginable...


  • JohnnyD gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    I too used to believe time would heal such wounds, but
    to scar over such unseeing, indeed unfelt wounds, is absurdly impossible.

    Experiencing this trauma with one woman was so painful as to melt my heart and have it flush out my soul. The second such experience was beyond pain....I was on autonomic for decades....so yes, I understand in somewhat similar fashion what you speak of here...like one's heart being shredded by claws of angst and despair-then douse with salt water.

    The pain is such that one cannot breath, cannot think, move or comprehend. Time itself ceases to exist save for that pain. One begs not to think or to remember but to no avail as the scars all weep to this day, into the night.

    Ghost of the past haunt us all and I fear I have too many to fully contend with, for to attempt such is as futile as trying to still all the reeds in a marsh during a hurricane......impossible.

    hang in there..

  • I cannot relate to this personally; too young I suppose; but I can still appreciate the heartache, and the truth that fills this poem. As always Lane; I love your work.

    ~Meg

  • memories indelibly ingrained in the soul are never forgotten or reduced to trivia. A very beautiful, though sad write. Very well done Lane,

    Rory

    . Rewarded 4


  • Swangrnv gold member
    July 20
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    very sweet words for honoring a loved one who's moved on.


    • Dalaney gold member
      July 20
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you very much for reading my poem. Love, Lane

  • Tigger Lady
    July 20

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    This poem puts beauty, pain, love, loss, remorse, and even a little bit of joy all together in one simple yet perfect piece of work that allows the reader to relate to your experience and to ones of their own. Its very well written.

    . Rewarded 4


  • crazymomma
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    This poem made me cry thinking of my widowed mom. Time really doesn't care if we are happy or sad. It just keeps going even after our love has gone. This is so sad yet beautiful at the same time. Your word choice was amazing in describing the emotion and made this very powerful. A wonderful and amazing sad poem!

    . Rewarded 6


  • Pure Thought silver member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply

    My Lady

    I will take this with me. Only with your permission print it, and keep it posted near by. Then as I work on my computer, you will always be with me.

    Love,
    Your king