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Society's Secret

Childatchinaorphanage

 

A bamboo bed cannot comfort

or clasp soft embrace,

once held tender within

a mother's heart

 

Will childish joy finally

deliver to those forgotten

as society's secret?

 

Or will they remain

as those not remembered

by our unseeing souls?

 

~The disregarded~

 

 

 

Author notes

(contest was closed due to lack of entries.. shame..)

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • Valley Girl gold member
    August 12

    Edit | Reply
    I thought that I have commented on this one before, ohwell lol. You have really caputured the prompt with this one hun. Your first stanza "A bamboo bed cannot comfort or clasp soft embrace, once held tender within
    a mother's heart" is so sad and so real. Thank you for sharing this with us. ♥


  • Amera gold member
    July 23

    Edit | Reply
    Yes! It is a shame the contest was closed because you have, in a few short words wrenched the reader’s heart with a vivid picture of a sad truth. Contest or not this is powerful and I hope many people read it and act on it. It does have a duel message as you presented it with the photo; it also says that someone took the time to make the crude high chair that even has makeshift toy rings attached to it… so the question is; was it made with love?

    Love,
    Amera♥


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      July 23
      Edit | Reply
      Yes, that is the question! I think it probably was, within the constraints that many of these organisations have. It just a shame they are now supported as much as they should be!

      Thank you hun!

  • AutumnGypsy
    July 22

    Edit | Reply
    It is beyond any reasoning in my mind that people in this day and age should live in such poor conditions. It pulls at my heart and rises in my throat to see such anguish. Then to read something so eloquently worded and written with such heart and passion on such a topic is astounding.


  • stavykm gold member
    July 22

    Edit | Reply

    Heart Breaking

    Excellent write but so sad, truly sad. Those precious babies and people of all ages just disregarded is so sad. Your heart is huge and I just love you.
    Your sis
    Kelle Marie


  • Jeremy0826 gold member
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    Hello there, thanks a lot for taking the time to
    write for this contest. Due to the lack of
    entries it is being closed. Thank you!



    Jeremy0826

  • arafura
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    This breaks the heart. Great work my friend!


  • phantasyintrigue-x silver member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    Oh man, those chickens really helped your case!!




    "A bamboo bed cannot comfort
    or clasp soft embrace"
    I think not, it looks quite uncomfortable.

    "society's secret"
    LOVE THAT!! Sounds...salacious Muhahaha

    "unseeing souls"
    OOH. Sounds...soul-ified.

    As for..."The disregarded"...well, ouch. The ~'s kind of made me think of Gypsy-Princess, as well as the one/two-worded line ending. Very groovy


  • faderman1959 silver member
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    A sad but true statement on humanity nowadays! You nailed it I think!


  • Swangrnv
    July 21

    Edit | Reply

    this is very sad

    indeeed to know there are children discarded to be forgotten by society is shameful. this pieces speaks volumes about that injustice in a few (but powerful) words.


  • KayJay46 gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    How sad... how can anyone not hold tender the promise of the future, the wonder of today? Bravo!
    Ken


  • Lucy. gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    This is heartbreaking.

    I think your write has achieved the right emotion and impact so well done.


  • secberm
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    Write on and good luck.

    Dez


  • plainoljoe
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    It is pictures like this that reminds us all to be more concerned about the welfare of such children. They also help to raise the conscienousness of those caring more about themselves instead of others.

    Joe


  • LadyDementia gold member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow, this is so sad there are so many throughout the world that are forgotten about. You've done a super job, really tugs at the heart. Good luck hunni

  • x-Black-Butterfly-x silver member
    July 21

    Edit | Reply
    wow you have captured the picture amazingly, with such emotion the picture tugged at my heart but your words for it...just....wow

  • Cannonsfire silver member
    July 21
    Edit | Reply
    You capture it so well SIL


  • xCandieKissesx
    July 20

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful.

    Cuz, this was such an in-depth and emotional piece.
    So sad and touching; you've brought the image into reality and it really has an impact on us.
    Great write!

  • Poetic-Theorem gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Very wonderful piece but heartbreaking as well. Society's secrets-children in an orphanage
    Forgotten by society but your words speak loudly for them. Society must find a system that works and gives these children a place to call home. Very poignant write that tugs at the heart
    Peace and love
    David


  • mysticstorm gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! Sis, great minds do think alike...lol we were sure on the same thought wave...how wonderfully written and said...for this is so sad and too much of our society today...I hope for the day that there are no more forgotten people in this world...beautifully written in truth and sadness...
    Love,
    sis


  • crimsondew silver member
    July 20
    Edit | Reply

    :(

    *sigh* this wrung my heart like the picture..It is just all so sad....


  • Carolina Moon silver member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful sister dear, I tear up just thinking about those babies and wishing I had them to love. Best of luck to you ma' dear.


  • Jeremy0826 gold member
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautifully written but,
    heart breaking. Great work
    putting this piece together.
    It really is a terrible feeling
    to know that this happens everyday
    in our world. It makes you appreciate
    what you have and the people that are
    so much a part of your everyday life.
    Thanks a lot for sharing this write
    with me and good luck to you!





    Jeremy0826


  • Carolina Moon silver member
    July 20
    Edit | Reply
    hehe kick Sis, kick it good just gently lol But now now you know your pen is magic and your talent amazing..if anyone can do it, you can!

  • Jeremy0826 gold member
    July 20
    Edit | Reply
    Prompt is up


    Good luck!

  • phantasyintrigue-x silver member
    July 20
    Edit | Reply
    *kills chicken for your muse* Good luck (:

  • luna-midnight gold member
    July 20
    Edit | Reply
    good luck friend
1 - 37 of 37