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invade








invade

crusade



i am that stranger hand
in need of wilderness
and desperate land
lying on the edge
of beautiful
i ride

she choked
on soft lies
and the laughter
of skin
ripping for seven miles
on the cold road
of tomorrow
and forever

i opened that door
and slammed it shut
with terrible footprints
in a garden of spring
and its shallow grave
the fruit wasn't ready
to be plucked or tasted
then wasted
but plentiful was her bounty
of hollow music

and i didn't mind the skips
of her broken record
or her taste of bitterness
when the gentle stove
glowed the color of numb
she was the crucifix
of my religion
and it is not yet sunday
i won't and can't
swallow
guilt of a thousand years
when heavenly is my addiction

 


i fear no evil dreams
as she lies silent with divine
in her garden of sorrow and shame
i was a messenger
and new language



invade

crusade

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I chose the work of onerios13 as I knew it would be a challenge to match her wit and brilliance as a poet. She is always profound and metaphorically raw, but always relating life's bumps in the road in ways that takes the reader's breath.
Thank you Darcy for allowing me to enjoy your work in this way.
peace and hugs
Richard



penetrate





penetrate

gestate


within the viscera of
the last 24 hours i
found new meaning
in the word
violate

it spat at me
like beautiful women
and obedient to their
squirting intrusion
i grew damage in a
garden bored with its
savoir faire

and i thought you knew
i was hollow water
sister to seconds of disaster
humping the chump change
clinking in the paper cup
held tightly by lost little girls
as if pretty nickels could replace
a mother’s milky left breast

so will i suckle on the knowledge
bright and red and apple polished
of the way skin feels
as it scrapes into a smile
when even the air hangs smug
behind an iron breeze
as i breed each new bedpan
to hold my fractured sweat
hold my glass clots
hold my stale babe
cradled in a crippling daze
as dawn sets once more
on the buzzing flies
near the molted marmalade


and yes
i dream of being
fucked against a yellowed wall
and have christ feel my cum


penetrate

gestate







STATEMENT:

I fully endorse and give permission to MuddyKing to use this poem as he sees fit in any manner and any form such is my confidence that this exceptional poet can and always will do my poetry justice.

If there is any doubt to the above statement, just take a peek at our beautiful 'love-children' Sal and Chloe. We are very proud parents of these magnificent twins.






Sal
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2015468

Chloe
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4381945





muddyking
member since October 16, 2002

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • poetryality silver member
    August 29
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    Darcy's style and flare is very hard to adapt. But you...YOU my friend have gone there. I can easily see why this poem garnered GOLD!

    "so will i suckle on the knowledge
    bright and red and apple polished
    of the way skin feels
    as it scrapes into a smile"


    It seems to me that you played in the field of words and never grew weary. Simply beautiful! Thank you for this entry, and I wish you the best in this challenge.


    Much Love Always ♥

    Renee


  • the atlantic gold member
    August 9

    Edit | Reply
    mud, you did an amazing job with this piece. you took darcy's style and made it your own using some of the most striking and solid imagery i've seen in a while. i particularly liked the second and third stanzas, that fruit imagery was perfect and 'the crucifix of my religion' was great...all in all hell yeah man this fucking ruled. i should have just mirrored mary's comment.


  • Cat gold member
    July 31

    Edit | Reply
    this is the part i liked best:



    invade

    crusade



    i am that stranger hand
    in need of wilderness
    and desperate land
    lying on the edge
    of beautiful
    i ride

    she choked
    on soft lies
    and the laughter
    of skin
    ripping for seven miles
    on the cold road
    of tomorrow
    and forever

    i opened that door
    and slammed it shut
    with terrible footprints
    in a garden of spring
    and its shallow grave
    the fruit wasn't ready
    to be plucked or tasted
    then wasted
    but plentiful was her bounty
    of hollow music

    and i didn't mind the skips
    of her broken record
    or her taste of bitterness
    when the gentle stove
    glowed the color of numb
    she was the crucifix
    of my religion
    and it is not yet sunday
    i won't and can't
    swallow
    guilt of a thousand years
    when heavenly is my addiction




    i fear no evil dreams
    as she lies silent with divine
    in her garden of sorrow and shame
    i was a messenger
    and new language



    invade

    crusade



    wonderful work
    wonderful.


    • MuddyKing gold member
      July 31
      Edit | Reply
      when I read your comment, I actually was looking for the first stanza to end...this is an honor coming from you and Carol
      thank you for making my day much brighter
      peace and hugs
      Muddy

  • apples fell gold member
    July 27

    Edit | Reply

    Well you have come close to her looseness, that way she has a lot of edging, which sometimes works for the better and sometimes, not so much. I think your transitions were quite inspiring. I do wonder about some of the line breaks throughout as it made it difficult to read at times, but I simply loved the imagery and that last stanza. It also seems to be a little scattered, but again, that just could be how I am reading it. Very nice piece Richard. I'm sure the judge will like this much.

    ;


  • Night Hope gold member
    July 27

    Edit | Reply


  • I do not think I need to know everything about this poem. You are talking about a person or woman who demolishes herself or the people around her by destroying love. Your poems need to be sung. The most important element of the poem is the vivid creative images of the main character or faulted heroine. Nice work.

  • I'm sorry to inform you but there is an issue with your contest located at http://allpoetry.com/contest/2415597

    We cannot allow the poets to post anothers poem with their own, even with permission due to copyright laws.

    They will need to post the other poets poem (with permission) in their author's notes.

    Please edit your contest and send a note to all entrants to change that. Thanks.

    Amunet Wolfbane
    Moderator Manager.

  • Zayra
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant!

    I have missed your writing too. I will make a point to keep up a little more often.

    Good luck in the contest!

  • Wow! This was magnificant the terminology is really good and with creating the imagery. This was stunning, I'm trying to let the words out through speechlessness. Wonderful work, beautifully penned!! Bravo!
    ~Emily~ xx

  • VanGuard
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    The poem flows very well. The visuals that your poem creates is lovely.


  • Poetrybird86
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    this was a very deep poem, there is much expression and emotion in it. Its very good, keep up the good work.

    . Rewarded 4

  • Yvette Champ
    July 26
    Edit | Reply

  • Superb

    A fine write indeed. I enjoyed the imagery your words created. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.

    . Rewarded 4


  • PageTurner
    July 26

    Edit | Reply


    I've shied from commenting on your Poetry
    (though I have read it often) MuddyKing you bring
    your whole being into your verse, and I find myself
    becoming immersed in your offerings...


    "i am that stranger hand
    in need of wilderness
    and desperate land
    lying on the edge
    of beautiful
    i ride"


    Sighhhh... See what I mean

    It is an Honor to be mentioned
    in the same breath as you, Scribe!

    ~ Nicky♥


    • MuddyKing gold member
      July 26
      Edit | Reply
      Never shy away from commenting on myself or any other poet for that matter. All poets are special people that see and feel the ordinary and make it shine for those that never see it at all.
      If it weren't for praise now and then, we would be left to quietly lick ourselves.

      thank you for the wonderful comment, and I'm adding you as a favorite...so now we are strangers no more.
      peace Muddy

  • whitemd
    July 26
    Edit | Reply

    powerful

    your images hit pretty hard. this poem hits pretty hard. well done.

  • JinSays gold member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    and i thought you knew
    i was hollow water
    sister to seconds of disaster
    humping the chump change
    clinking in the paper cup
    held tightly by lost little girls
    as if pretty nickels could replace
    a mother’s milky left breast

    (siiiigh). This poem of yours is pretty raw in itself, you know. I'm no stranger to shock value, but honestly, I didn't get so much as a nuance of that here. The poem that inspired it really set me off, as I know exactly where that pain and reality comes from.
    As far as the first poem goes: Yeah, I don't know many people who wouldn't want to be fucked against the wall.
    (I'll keep the second part of that statement to myself, for fear of fundamentalist onslaught)...
    Let me just say, Amen!!!! Damn! Sexton? Yes. Bukowski? You bet...So,
    I loved this absolutely. I think you both do very well in bringing out the muse inside each the other. That's an honor, I should think. I know I'd be dancing around the clouds.
    Okay, an epic, so sorry.
    Peace,
    Jin

    . Rewarded 8


  • onerios13 silver member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    and i didn't mind the skips
    of her broken record
    or her taste of bitterness
    when the gentle stove
    glowed the color of numb
    she was the crucifix
    of my religion
    and it is not yet sunday

    Oh god...mud...you are GOD. lol No seriously...I think you did MORE than justice to my piece...this slammed like the perfect note spoken through a bleary night of too much beer and shoulda-woulda smokes. It's gorgeous and don't you DARE change anything...or I'm filing for divorce!

    BRAVO!!!!!




  • Aisades gold member
    July 26
    Edit | Reply
    Forgive me.. fuck yes.

    This is poetry. I'm weak in the knees.

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