When cacophony drizzles through razored defence
and silica devolves to radical flight;
regressing reflections, remembered absence,
with no passion for self inflicted contrite.
When each subtle arc shrouds the ragged offence
like a lovers hand when it becomes to tight,
and the ladder we ascend always goes down,
deep in the shallows, abstract visions we drown
of realities war; what we think we see,
when six cruelly curdles to manufacture eight,
we dash china valleys with ejected scree
before layers of failure can procreate,
and like the sculptor we struggle to set free
the beauty that hides below imagined weight.
No matter the mirror; calculated lies,
our best is when we cover our eyes.
Author notes
Ottava Rima
A Ottava Rima is a poem written in 8-line octives. Each line is of a 10 or 11 syllable count in
the following rhyme:
one octive poem. abababcc
two octive poem. abababcc, dededeff
three octive poem. abababcc, dededeff, ghghghii
...so on and so on
A contest entry
- FORM POETRY..(BIG POINTS) by vici377.
3250 points, ended July 28, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Critique Requested
Comments
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So many depths, layers akin to an onion, thought provoking dear poet, especially liked the reference to the sculptor and weight, as if he were trying to shape shift and re arrange what he could see, oh, if only it were that easy for us all to re structure the sense and the nonsense. In the absence of reality we have the new reality. I attempted a lyrical write titled Fortune's Changing with a similar ethos, though this has a complex simplicity and mine at best had a simple complexity. Another poet invited me to the poetic rally held in Hyde Park last year but I was unable to make it and he asked if he could read my poem whilst there out loud for everyone, I can't tell you how honoured I felt Col, for my inspiration had been 7/7, how many people around the world set off for work/to the store/etc wishing their reality was different and then tragically find it becomes different in a dark way? Enough of my rambling, congrats on the shiny
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amazing..
your flow, rhyme..everything is total brilliance..and just like the ostrich that hides his head in the sand..we cover our eyes when there is adversity...truly an amazing write...thank you so much for entering..YOU HAVE MADE MY JOB SO VERY DIFFICULT..please do not click on the stars to keep this contest anonymous..blessings..namaste..
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