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Bitter End

Missing image
Form undefined,
as mist
I drift and flow
into the negative spaces
your brutality created,

the wraith that follows you
through every shadow,
lingering only to torment you,
I will not rest until you fall
as violently as I fell.

Author notes

Darkened Decadence

Picture credit: "Soul" by Brooze
http://brooze.deviantart.com/art/soul-26443297

 


Awesome contest!

A contest entry

Please tell me what you really think. Criticism welcomed.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Lost Vampyre Angel gold member
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh thiss is very nice, i love your word play in this poem, i love it so so much, you penned a brilliant poem
    best of luck in my contest
    all my love
    kitty xxx

  • K-9
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    Ghosts of relationships past
    Haunt in solar glare and
    Hunt neath luna fair
    Always hungry...

    Nice poem. May your spirit find peace in whatever form it may. I liked the ethereal nature of the first stanza better than the vengence of the second. Best of luck in the contest!
    ~woof


  • XXheartbroken3XX
    August 19

    Edit | Reply
    nice write.
    Very powerful.
    Very emotional.
    "I will not rest until you fall
    as violently as I fell."
    these lines are filled with hatred and revenge.
    NICE!!!


  • PhantomsAngel87 Greeters member
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    You used one of my favourite words 'Wraith' ... how my eyes, heart and soul just f-ing love that word!
    The emotions it envokes alone is amazing and then here, it is combined with your words and I am awed.
    So much imagery is bursting off the screen and into my mind ... short but powerful!

    Fantastic write hun!
    Best of luck!
    ♥
    Stay safe
    Love to you
    ~Manda


  • confuzzled-angel
    August 14
    Edit | Reply
    You are so talented! i like this because it has a mysterious side to it. very nicely written! =D


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is very dark, and well written. You are a class act my dear. All the best in the contest.


    With much love,
    mj.


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 9

    Edit | Reply

    Great write for the pix

    He pissed on the fire of your heart
    so when I opened the door to your soul
    I fell into the ashes he left
    and created a torch from the embers.
    I will hold this light always before you.


  • limitededition
    August 8

    Edit | Reply

    Bitteritter End

    Very good write--I know the feeling--but have come to the place where I sit back and watch the bitter end come to those that deserve it without me having to
    lift a hand-- it is uncanny how it all works out.

  • thejollytinker gold member
    August 7

    Edit | Reply
    Just as a precaution, I will avoid mist from now on... Great take on the shape-changing and gracefully written.


  • Lost Vampyre Angel gold member
    August 3
    Edit | Reply
    http://brooze.deviantart.com/art/soul-26443297 hows this?
1 - 11 of 11