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The end of a tale

Between the end of a tale
and dark clouds,
I look up
As one is served lovelessness,

From the vast bitter trunk,
Humanly intoxicates the frustration
From my struggling path.









A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10
  • Ah...painful journey of your heart is seen in your wonderful poetry here..well said..and thanks for such a heartfelt poetry...


  • storiesuntold gold member
    November 10

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    This is very sad

    If one doesnt want to understand life in its many forms and how at times it does twist and turn leaving us in a mess we must always know the part that guides us to love is right there in our chest feel the beat and know someone somewhere their heart beats to find their perfect love as well


  • Dienush Greeters member
    August 6

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    That first stanza is brilliant with the creative connections and vivid imagery. I also like the second part, though the first is better in my opinion... one question: when you say "humanly", is that a poetic license kind of thing, or do you mean "humanity"? I just don't see a subject. Anyway, good work. This shows a lot.

    ~Diana

  • mcfreeman
    August 5
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    odd phrasing...this:

    Humanly intoxicates the frustration

    but nice poem overall


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 5

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    This is a sad little poem, even in it's shortness, it had a lot of impact for the reader. Best to you

  • A powerful piece Ruby, my best wishes always.


  • Roaddog Wolf gold member
    August 4

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    nice write I think the last stanza the tenses contradict a bit and at very least breaks the flow but nice message

    thank you for your entry and good luck in the contest

  • Woh', I just entered a write for this, the picture definitely has some awe about it.
    Seems like you're forecasting a right storm!

    Sol


  • abuyi
    August 4
    Edit | Reply
    nice.. beautiful take on the prompt

  • Titus gold member
    August 4

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    I couldn't have said better myself. The end of this tale is at both ends, a not so good past and a bright future, very clever indeed.

1 - 10 of 10