The Mask

I kneel beside a circus tent
But know I cannot spend
Another moment trembling,
Another breath in debt

And as my eyes snatch up the rift
And faintly her ribbon colors split
I cannot help but scream to her The Lord I know will mend them,
At this nothingness I beget Will make her whole again.

Damning blade, why do you haunt me?
You claim I’m all you need
Rape me, drown me, choke me,
Addict me, till I see as you can see.

My eyes (pierced, sharpened),
Escape you for a moment
And fall upon a murder victim
A booth of masks he hides behind
Yet he knows not of my conviction

I stagger forward into view
To trace this masked mind
How could this flesh be of such certainty,
Yet a soul so hard to find?

Quickly a rush of blood
Glides down his phantom face
As I try to remove the permanence
I was so sure I could replace

Gazing into his tendrils, lock
They lock me…into the night
Swallow me, the meaning
Bury me into life.

What is this flesh, and why does he make
Me feel at one with him and his life?
Ensnares me, squeezes, his freedom
In the end, both our plight.

Death, can’t you see, you’re unwanted here
I try to keep my distance, yet I feel your presence so near…

The circus booths, restless yet weary
Unfold, and fade away
And I grope at my one last chance
Of attempted misery

The booth’s cape undone,
The shadows of sunlight wiped away
I’m ready to unmask the fear
To see this man on my last day

Come closer, he beckons
Tempted, and slowly…
Come closer to me
Make(s) me feel like I am lowly

The glowing slits, the rotting skin
What more horrorshow could I face
His wicked stem replaced by tendrils
Devil eyes of a jack-o-lantern

I will unmask him, make him
A mere pumpkin, not a jack-o-lantern
When nothingness surrounds me, life
Nothingness is what I will make him.

I peel the misery off his skin
And strongly, I hear a cry
The mask and he are one eternal;
His oneness I cannot defy

Saving blade, please pull me closer
Although it’s you I fear
This man has made me believe his lies
My judgment he has seared.

How far would you go to save me?Death, I think I crave it
Is death my only one?            If what he says is true
I dare you to fill me, empty  If life is meant for meaning, and death for nothingness
I dare you, this, my God        Only in death will I find You.
the mask.