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As light, ignites togetherness~

 

Ardently, love persists
Strength alone portrays
Meekly for an endless feel,
Tender as the thoughtful touch,
What smiles have shown
And eyes have reached
is a prayer to 'God'
Both remain as understood
In what is immaculate!

Gripped by these sensations;
Visuals make keen
Widely known to 'You' and 'I'
Some penetrative whispers
The light, ignites togetherness.

Endless as the feelings seem,
Affection fulfills sentiment
Delicious as a sin swept drool
Of Synchronies our hearts beat to.
They are mending the parts,
That love sickens it to
Somehow, completeness evolves,
Belonging where it should,
And with 'You'.

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

A single touch of true love is a prayer to God...Unknown

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Swan song gold member
    November 27
    Edit | Reply
    Very good imspirational and devine and so well put


  • yumanbeing gold member
    September 22
    Edit | Reply
    you are superb - and you improve monthly
    I respect the energy and work you show
    later on buddy

  • rhondasail
    September 12

    Edit | Reply
    "Endless as the feelings seem,
    Affection fulfills sentiment
    Delicious as a sin swept drool
    Of Synchronies our hearts beat to.
    They are mending the parts,
    That love sickens it to
    Somehow, completeness evolves,
    Belonging where it should,
    And with 'You'"

    A more perfect description of true love, I can't imagine. I am surprised it did not win a trophy from Prabhu...marvelous writing straight from the soul of love. Peace, Rhonda

  • Roy-rahbar
    September 3
    Edit | Reply

    Very tender.

    Hello ruby....highly immaginative write...enjoyed.
    Rahbar.


  • poetryality silver member
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautifully written from a spirit that evidently knows and feels True Love. There are many lines here that leap from the page into my heart. Most specifically;

    "Tender as the thoughtful touch,
    What smiles have shown
    And eyes have reached
    is a prayer to 'God'"

    Simply gorgeous work!


    Much Love ♥

    Renee



  • davidwright silver member
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice. Being an old country boy at heart a few of the words left me wondering; for example the use of "synchronies in the line "delicious as a sin swept drool of synchronies our heart beats to." What's the meaning you attach to the phrase? Just curious. Happy trails
  • sgking123
    September 2

    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    Endless as the feelings seem,
    Affection fulfills sentiment
    Delicious as a sin swept drool
    Of Synchronies our hearts beat to.
    They are mending the parts,
    That love sickens it to
    Somehow, completeness evolves,
    Belonging where it should,
    And with 'You'.

    the above lines are a welcome far cry from today's physical woprld.You praise and uplift emotions.Thanks for sharing.Please visit my poetry and offer some comments.

  • Angelflower Greeters member
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    Oh you really did such a wonderful job!!! this was really amazing!

    Ardently, love persists
    Strength alone portrays
    Meekly for an endless feel,===> this is a wonderful start! It has strong emotions already in these line!

    Tender as the thoughtful touch,
    What smiles have shown
    And eyes have reached
    is a prayer to 'God'
    Both remain as understood
    In what is immaculate! ===> the beginning just sighs of beauty.. I love how you bring the "eyes: to life here.. And the ending line really brings an intensity to it!


    Gripped by these sensations;
    Visuals make keen
    Widely known to 'You' and 'I'
    Some penetrative whispers
    The light, ignites togetherness. ===> I love that first line.. it just brings you to the edge of your seat! and I usually don't like it when people write "You and I" in their poems because they usually make it cheesy, but I love it here! it has a indepent thing going on!!


    Endless as the feelings seem,
    Affection fulfills sentiment
    Delicious as a sin swept drool
    Of Synchronies our hearts beat to. ===> I really love how the word "Affection"  really stands out in this line. oh! drool! never liked that word but you used it well I must say!! bravo on that aspect!


    They are mending the parts,
    That love sickens it to
    Somehow, completeness evolves,
    Belonging where it should,
    And with 'You'. ===> This was a perfect ending!! It has intensity and imagery!!!


    I'm so glad that I clicked on this.. It was a wonderful read! I hope you don't mind that I kind of broke down your poem in my comment I just really wanted to tell you what I thought of it!! The flow was wonderful and the suitable rhyme was flawless!! bravo!! Thank you very much for sharing something so wonderful!

    Angel

  • Whispered Lullabies
    September 2

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it. I loved everything about it. It was well-written and an amazing entry into that contest.

    My favorite line is:
    "The light, ignites togetherness."

    I think that's beautiful.
    Good luck!

    . Rewarded 4

  • mcfreeman
    September 1
    Edit | Reply

    Immaculate!


  • Lucy. gold member
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    This is lovely Ruby.
    The light, ignites togetherness.
    What a beautiful line...and a wonderful entry into this contest. Well done.

  • Titus gold member
    August 17

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful essence of the purity that abounds the total love and affection, that love one should and do.

  • Thoughts-of-Soloman gold member
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    Well written Ruby and good luck with the contest.
    And best wishes to you.

    Sol


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar gold member
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    How beautifully and how wonderfully you have revealed the story of the connections of life.. I love it ..well done ..

  • Never-Known-Bliss
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem!! I started reading an just couldn't stop! It's an amazing poem. You should be bery proud of yourself good job!

    . Rewarded 4


  • NurseyPoo
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    As far a I can tell this is one poem that shows true love in a very beautiful and different way. Nice job. Pen on...~Poo~

    . Rewarded 4


  • Summer Daze silver member
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    Some of the lines in this love poem were outstanding including, "What smiles have shown and eyes have reached is a prayer to God." Others were grammatically suspect and would benefit from an edit, such as, "That love sickens it to somehow,..."
    The quotation cited is a wonderful prompt and I think you have the beginnings of a thoughtful and interesting poem.

  • Lily Skie gold member
    August 6

    Edit | Reply

    left me in awe

    This poem is amazing! Perfectly describes that wonder that is "true love"

    "Ardently, love persists"

    Captivating from the very beginning. What a true and powerful statement. :]

    "Tender as the thoughtful touch,
    What smiles have shown
    And eyes have reached"

    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!!! I love the description you use and sensory words. It makes me feel happy and peaceful. :]

    "Gripped by these sensations;"

    Love is a gripping emotion, yes. Wonderful description here.

    "Endless as the feelings seem,
    Affection fulfills sentiment
    Delicious as a sin swept drool
    Of Synchronies our hearts beat to."

    So beautiful. The words you use are perfect.

    "Somehow, completeness evolves,
    Belonging where it should,
    And with 'You'."

    So cute at the end ^_^

    I love your poem. Please, for the love of God, keep writing!!!







    -Lily♥

    . Rewarded 8


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    August 6

    Edit | Reply

    filled with nutricious vitamins for the soul!

    we should attach this to every prescription that is sent
    out of the pharmacists door! well done dear poet! Healing
    nutrition for the soul!
    ears/Seattle
    well done!




  • XQUIETxTRAGEDYx
    August 6

    Edit | Reply
    awww!! that was really good!!! some really big words, too!! lolerz. but good job! i loved it!! keep it up!

    . Rewarded 4

1 - 20 of 20