He always claimed to be a top;
& experienced hands twisted his words on their point,
wobbling from [what's] left to [who's] right
as the gravity of the situation kept him grounded.
His centrifugal smile forced itself 360°,
fooling faces blurred by full-circle falsity-
but it was a matter of time until he got tipsy
& his interrogative inertia slowed, even though
a heart in motion has a tendency to stay in motion
& physics couldn't predict that he'd finally bottom.
Author notes
prompts: counter-clockwise confusion, [eroded] education, [hemmed] perception.
I tried to combine a few things here along with write in a format that I usually...don't. Watch for the word play 'cause I'm cool like that. 
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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"He always claimed to be a top;"
......
"he'd finally bottom."
So neat...
One description, two objects, a perfect metaphor. You amaze me once again.
Much Adoration,
Carrie
P.S. I tried to see how this could confuse me, but I found it to be a flawless idea. I do not see how anyone could not understand. Well, I guess your genius is just too much for people sometimes. lol
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I'm going to reiterate what everyone else said here and tell you that the first and last lines leave me a little confused as to what you are refering to. But that is beside the point because this is amazing! I loved your phrasing and the flow of the words. Beautifully written.
Alex
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the beginning made me think of something ELSE entirely. This has so many ambiguous meanings that I am left wondering what you meant exactly. Still, a brilliant write nonetheless.
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Ah, such cleverness must be shared, if you don't mind... I am carrying this brilliantly-penned poem to Poetry Planet and I thank you!
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man im confussed, you write wonderfully, nice word play and that, but the metaphor leaves me pondering what this is about
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lol. I enjoyed that. Quite cute really with the physics involved. I had my physics teacher once tell me of a girl who loved the term "inertia" so much she was going to name her daughter that.
. Rewarded 4
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Good, very different angles!
Excellent work of contemporary poetry. I think you have a hold of a very interesting concept and subject. Good title, great ending line. Don't like the modern use of the "&" symbol, though! I can identify with the feelings presented in the poem and I have often felt like I was "spinning like a top" in numerous situations. Some people and places do make me feel this way, even after 63 years.
Keep up the good work. Read, read, read AND continue to come back to a poem and RE-WRITE!
See Ted Kooser's work for splendid examples of what's new and very contemporary, as well. I still say this one a bit far out, bu on the second reading I like it!
. Rewarded 8
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Far Out! Kinda weird?
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Trippy to say the least. I really felt the motion you described here, and the metaphor was easy to understand, though without being simple. Nice finish too, it really caught me off-guard, but I liked it. I didn't like the title so much, but the rest was done quite well.
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This is such a perfect and meaningful metaphor. I'm amazed by how well you pulled all the elements together for both meanings of this poem. Really nice job with addressing the prompts you listed, and yes there is certainly some very cool word play going on here. Nice thoughts, and great write!
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Very eye catching opening extended metaphor which immediately makes the reader want to read on. Definitely an original and intelligent write, well crafted and intruging (which I've probably spelt wrong) but I must say I did like the thought processes behind this. Thanks for sharing, even if it's a bit early in the morning for my brain to be on overtime like this!! Cheers.
. Rewarded 6
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definately different and a cool write i must say , interesting use me the top to describe the character nicely done, a good read
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good
write , write , write the truth and be happy
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so when you said that you were going to write 10 lines, I did assume that they'd be closer to your usual length, haha. but oh well, whatever. that did make it less typical a format for you.
It's funny what can come out poetically from random spurts of conversation sometimes.♥ well, and you know I love this.
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This really rocks.
Awesome write.
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