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the war

they always show the war
in black & white.
all the movies, all the photographs
they always show the war
in black & white.

everything is grey,
the grass is grey,
the blood is grey,
the eyes of the people,
the broken church,
everything is grey.

hatred and dissent
fighting wrong
fighting right
they always show the war
in black & white.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • aanika silver member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    i love this part:

    the eyes of the people,
    the broken church,
    everything is grey.

    and the repetition of 'they always show the war in black & white'.

  • Lotus-Mama silver member
    August 11

    Edit | Reply
    LOVED it!!!!!!


    Awesome write!!!


  • Topnotchsy
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the idea here. Love the imagery and the idea. As another commenter mentioned, I found the repetition of the word "grey" a little much, especially since I was much more into seeing it in "black and white" than the grey to begin with.


  • sassykitty
    August 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting and definitely has the potential to be an extremely powerful and thought provoking write. However, I do feel at the moment, and this is just an opinion that there's an over use of repetition of 'grey' - you don't need it - the flow works if you use it just the once and maybe rearrange some of the images in the second stanza:
    everything is grey
    blood, grass, the
    broken church even
    the weeping eyes
    cry grey tears

    just something random there. Perhaps add in about tones and textures too?
    I do like the idea behind this and feel it really needs a chance to grow. Be very interesting to see where you may take this. Thanks for sharing.