Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Voice of The Valkyrie

Missing image


Cold fusion, bridged impossible fears
behind the snow globe, I watch, shedding tears.
Self-imposed sanction, single kiss of turning
days stretch to weeks, weeks stretch to years.

I try to move, hard lessons I am learning
a block of winter, and yet I am yearning.
Frosted shards of indifference, I bleed in frays
this ice gets thicker, so cold I am burning.

Hollowed night whispers in sleeted den days.
Sun mocks its' shadows, across in many ways~
hand-span width of breath like white smoke
thinking of you, my trapped mind in a craze.

Sword-edged both ways, behind a felt cloak
hidden beneath, whispers tossed on carved oak.
 Wrought in metal forge, burning blade to invoke
secrets kept hidden, asked not and never spoke.

Author notes

Picture credit: Woman Warrior Fantasy by bigboss
Option 4 Word Prompt
Written by Hetha

Quatrain -(chain rhyme)
http://www.shadowpoetry.com/resources/wip/types.html

Please tell me what you think [Reward: double points]

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • azure85 gold member
    September 25

    Edit | Reply

    HoodWinked!

    What a powerful write, that grasps the imagination of the reader from the very first line. Wonderful use of rhyme!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Fallen forever silver member
    September 25
    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINK!

    Oh my goodness! In the words of Miss Tyra Banks, this was FIERCE!

    I could feel the power! I just was entranced by your story and every image created. Just stunning!

    I never really am taken to this kind of poem, so this was jaw dropping

    Well done!
    mucho love

    . Rewarded 6


  • GreenHrtPaleMoon gold member
    September 25
    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Winked

    I love this pic! Strong imagery and use of form. An extremely powerful write!


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    September 25
    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINKED!

    This is a powerful, image laden piece that captures the attention and the imagination. You have employed the Form well with great mastery. Well done dear poet!

    You have been Hoodwinked today by the Poetic Bandits because WE CARE! Hope you are feeling better soon.

    Dennis

    . Rewarded 6

  • scaza
    September 17
    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem it is epic!


  • Champaign Kisses
    September 17
    Edit | Reply
    it kind of scared m

  • toomysterious
    September 1

    Edit | Reply
    I had not seen this one as I was away for awhile. I love your juxtaposition of the cold and the hot, esp. the line "this ice gets thicker, so cold I am burning."
    I found the poem powerfully emotional.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Shya
    August 22

    Edit | Reply

    I love this poem!

    This is really well-written, filled with astounding imagery and flowing wonderfully well. You have some really unique phrases here, but mostly it's your imagery that I admire... the only suggestion I would make is for line 5, where the words "I am" seem to create an extra syllable that doesn't fit. I would recommend changing the "I try to move" part to something similar but shorter, and end it with a period, like "Cannot move." or "Trapped." So then it would read, "Trapped. Hard lessons I am learning". Hope this helps you. Shya

    . Rewarded 8


  • Asa.Rose.
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    *nods* this is really nice, you made some awesome changes. A wonderful piece
  • piccola gold member
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    I've often wanted to use the word broke in this way but always stopped short in fear that someone would say, "you have to say 'broken" you can't say broke. Everyone's a critic! LOL. I'd love to write like you in this almost abstract way. Oh well, I'd like to be in China for the Olympics too. Bush is there so they're special olympics this year
  • Wow...I love it. The rhyme is spot on and this reads very smoothly. You've packed much into these lines that force the reader to re-read in order to gain its full meanings. Very well done with this.

    Just Me

1 - 12 of 12