psychomotor disturbance

Unsteady motions of my body, profusely twitching

My involuntary muscle spasm temporarily taking over my body

The compulsion ticking from my fingertips up to my lips

Making them quiver in uncertainty as the emotionalism

From my heart ripples on an unsteady beat in my body.

“Why so nervous,”

My mind forces me to a bit of mindless insanity

What is this mental distress, aching within my every thought?

This excessive irritability lurking on the top of my skin

But not close enough to reach my tongue so I can break silence

Between withdrawals of my breathe, gasping for the uncertainty of air to come


“Where’s your paroxysm foolish girl,”

Failing to burst with emotion because of the constant lack of exhalation

Exhausted with failed attempts to reach definite sources of air I gravitate

I let my lips part in relief, and let my lungs take an exhausted sigh


“Giving up so quickly?”

Demented thoughts enter my mind, thoughts of death and suicide

If I’m giving up right now, giving into the psychomotor disturbance

Will I be committing suicide?

“Yes, let your self die,”

NO goddamn if I let you, determination to thrive pulls me up letting out screams
Filled with paroxysm forcing away the experimental jitters away from my skin

Oxygen fills my lungs, as my eyes dilate and expand to there unnatural size with shock

My skin is cyanotic and burning from the lack of oxygen. I let out a scream of pain as I feel the blood returning to the vessels’ deep within my skin. 

“That was fun to watch,”

I continue to breathe, every breath I took flowed by exhaling.

“You made it, this time.”