war becomes ghastly hatred,
our warriors
die in vain without glory
Author notes
Contest Notes: Option 1 -- A Kuhai or Haiku written backwards, with 7-5-7 syllable structure!
War picture thanks to Wikipedia, again.
A contest entry
- Japanese Poetry by Feel Good Candy.
700 points, ended August 29, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Do you hate war?
Comments
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Sad
Glory? I wonder just who defines what exactly glory is. Seems we heap praise on all the wrong people. From corrupt politicans to Hollywood clap-trap. Misogynist rappers and overpaid sports figures. For me those the brave that serve do have their own special brand of glory.
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I'm not feeling this Ukiah.... which by the way I don't get Ukiah. I don't think it's a Japanese form, because if it were, it would be Kuhai, which is Haiku backwards. As far as I'm concerned, if it's a simple poem written in three lines and is roughly 18 syllables, it's a haiku. Though because of the subject matter, I would consider... well what I'm about to suggest is a little radical but if you you're willing to take a shot... I think it would be great if you rewrote the poem from the perspective of a "senryu" which, forgive me if you are familiar with the form, is an off-shoot of the haiku that deals more with human nature, and usually has some irony to it. I feel like you're just saying something, which if you're talking about a flower is fine because everyone's seen a flower, everyone knows what you're talking about. But with a concept? I think you need to take it up a notch. Consider looking at some senryu.
Keep in touch and take your time if you decide to make editions!
Best,
E
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olove this one,sad but so true,haiku has many facets in her style, thank you for sharing good luck Linda
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