I have known them all already, starched in uniforms;
have known the pads, the pencils, the bullshit.
I have measured my life tromping down halls;
I hear voices dying with burn marks on temples
and underneath, the music of singing latrines.
So, how should I crawl out from under a belljar, for air?
And I have known their steady eyes, known them all -
those eyes that crucify to lobotomise,
and when I am thus, strapped to a gurney,
when I am drained of blood by vampires of ward 9
no longer wriggling on the wall or cock-of-the-walk,
then how shall I exist?
To spit out the fuck-all of my days?
So, how should I pretend, lid off and stoned for good?
And I have known the charms already, known them all;
charms that are burned in deep, hollowing out the eyes.
[But in the cold moonlight from the window, you see my sour milk
of a sour face, a place of no grace, a face with no knowing.]
It is your eyes tell me I should be dead.
Why should I crawl out from under the belljar?
Author notes
Written after reading Plath's "The Belljar".
A contest entry
- because we find the personal in the universal by Dienush.
300 points, ended September 8, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Could this be you or one of yours?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Such a deep sense of hopelessness... one that I hope to never imitate in my own lifetime. I feel an emotional drag as I read the power behind your words. (In case you are unclear, that is a GOOD things.
It touched my spirit deeply.) 
♥ Touchof1der
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This poem is nice and I love the use of everyday language here - the first stanza is particularly powerful. My only suggestion would be about the second line - to me it sounds grammatically incorrect and I'm not sure if it was meant that way. Other than that, great work.
Thanks for your entry.
~Diana
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For my understanding,
there is a natural ellipsis preceding 'have' in line two. The 'I' is 'understood' by the listener when read aloud. Ellipsis is an accepted facet of standard grammar.
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I'm sorry, my mistake. What I meant was, the second to last line. You seem to have missed a "that".
What ellipsis are you talking about, though? I don't see any in the poem
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"It is your eyes tell me I should be dead." I like that as well as the image of the sour milk of a sour face.
Such a sense of dispair and hopelessness. "Strapped to a gurney," and "lobotomise"
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We climb out because daylight illuminates the sea floor,
we go hunting because that is what we do.
A new day always lights adversity
and makes it look attractive.
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I know.
This poem is simply in response to a Plath dilemma in a novel.
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