Do not breathe here, your insults, in this place
for kinder souls from low to high degree
do not breathe here, your insults, in this place
where beaten paths pass this unhappy tree
and pilgrims tread to breathe the Word of God
for kinder souls from low to high degree
now know a martyr bled and wield his rod
self-righteously, disdaining breath of wrath
and pilgrims tread to breathe the Word of God
though scorned or loved, these truths, this path
wind this way, that, breathe airs of grace, of love;
self-righteously, disdaining breath of wrath
where lie Sir Thomas’ bones, his soul above
with God ... who breathes pure truth, not envy, hate.
Wind this way, that, breathe airs of grace, of love.
So, royal heart, impure, has sealed More’s fate.
Do not breathe here, your insults, in this place
with God ... who breathes pure truth, not envy, hate.
Do not breathe here, your insults, in this place!
A contest entry
- Poetic Form: Terzanelle - Prompt - Breathe by Little Feather.
600 points, ended September 14, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATING POETRY AND POETS- ONE-DAY competition, "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY by Vera Rich.
6000 points, ended November 26, 168 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Could this be you or one of yours?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This entry has left me feeling puzzled. The competition was for poems about poets and/or poetry... and, alas, I cannot recall whether or not More wrote poetry. I know that many Renaissance scholars did - but cannot recall any work of More's in verse.
Of course, there may be some minor works of his that would qualify as poetry - but, as I said, I cannot recall them. I do own a couple of fairly detailed biographies of More: unfortunately, though, at the present time, they - and almost all the rest of my books - are in storage boxes, as the floorboards of my house are about to be taken up for new central heating to be installed. I have kept available only those few books which I expected to need in the course of the next couple of weeks... and as I did not expect to need a biography of More, I did not keep one accessible. And unfortunately, I shall not be able to get to a Library until the central heating is in place and the floorboards, lino and carpets relaid.
It will take me some time to work through all the entries to this competition - for once there was a satisfying number of them - and I am currently only pre-sorting them into "probable", "possible" and "alas impossible" categories.
So if you could let me have some information about More AS A POET, I should be only too happy to consider it further. Otherwise, alas, I do not see how it fits here!
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One of those perfect first lines where the poem can only weaken after that. But this one didn't!!! Rolls off the tongue like honey, when read aloud!
Quite, quite astonishing.
Set my own poetic self-confidence back by years.
No luck needed in the contest. Best, p
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Thank you for the trophy
and your commentary.
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Thank you for your entry
I really enjoyed where you took this promp, this was well thought out. The way Breathe was incorporated in this was creative and refreshing. I also appreciate that this is based on faith and God. I always enjoy poems that feature Him.
The form was followed well. Your rhyme scheme was well developed and your refrain lines flowed well throught he poem. Though a particular meter and syllable count was not mention, I see you opted for the imabic pentameter except in this line 'though scorned or loved, these truths, this path' where you had only 8 syllables. I don't know if this was intentional or oversight. Still I greatly enjoyed this piece and thank you for entering.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
A wonderfully sad topic from this violent and yet unforgettable era, The opening lines neath the pic are an excellent draw for the rest of the poem, sad and beautifully wrought for the tragic,well loved man.
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Beautiful work!
Very powerful poem, my friend! Best of luck in the contest!
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This is no beautifully worded that the repetition is barely noticed! A deep and moving write.
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With so many repetitive lines in this form it is sometimes difficult to write a cohesive poem that does not call attention to the refrains. You have chosen a weighty subject matter, used beautiful language, and infused this well-known event with a classic grace. It is a pleasure to read. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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Liz
I truly thank you for your opinion counts much with me. Ron.
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Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
Lyndon right now