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Smoldering

 She's So Hot

 

The moon slowly stirs...

melts its magic across me

 

Stars shine a blissful sigh

to brush skin

 

Igniting inner embers

of sensuality

long left smoldering

under surface

 

Now it builds...

               and burns

 

Desire once dampened

given freedom to

finally flame

 

Abandon's touch

          explores...

 

finding erogenous folds

stroking need

into relief's necessity

 

Lust's lava flows

from moist mound

of femininity

 

as euphoria rushes

its release 

                                                                                                      

~ erupting erotic ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Artwork credit:
She's So Hot by Jim Warren

(sensual can be a solo endeavour right? lol)

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 47 of 47

  • PerfectImperfection
    September 11

    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is just amazing!!! The imagery you have woven gives new life to the image itself - but the poem stands proudly on its very own as well. An extremely well penned piece of intriguing measure. I especially adored these lines:

    "Desire once dampened
    given freedom to
    finally flame"

    ... that is just WOW! You are a vry talented poetess my dear, but this has become a new favorite from you!!! Excellent write!


  • Cannonsfire gold member
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    Well the pic says she's so hot but SIL so are your words! Girl you got it going on in this C
    Congrats on your trophy!

  • Weltt
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    never would i question the quality of a poem written by you under the heading of "sensual" heh. Definately a master of your style. Almost edible here sis. whew!


  • secberm
    September 4

    Edit | Reply
    Ummm... Jeez! I like sweetie.

    "finding erogenous folds
    stroking need
    into relief's necessity

    Lust's lava flows
    from moist mound
    of femininity..."

    You freak... Erotica as it's supposed to be. Well done. Write on.

    Dez

  • SoulWhispher
    August 29
    Edit | Reply
    Well written, with such emotion, and feeling, hot without being crude, great write, love John
  • SoulWhispher
    August 29
    Edit | Reply
    Well written, with such emotion, and feeling, hot without being crude, great write, love John


  • Valley Girl Greeters member
    August 29

    Edit | Reply
    Wow hun! A beautiful senseual piece full of fantastic imagery! I love your lines "Lust's lava flows from moist mound of femininity" Brilliant! Congrats on the well deserved Silver!! ♥


  • poppa silver member
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    congratulations on your silver... thoroughly deserved for this soft , sensual piece... yeah it can be solo, but its much more fun with company


  • faderman1959
    August 28
    Edit | Reply
    I just loved the flow of this! Wow!


  • runewalker gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    this is one that you can breath in rhythm.

    I love the touchstones of the piece .... below.






    moon melts across me
    Stars shine ...
    Igniting inner embers...

    smoldering...
    builds...
    and burns

    freedom ... flame...
    Abandon's ...lava flows

    euphoria...
    release ...


  • aboomer silver member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Love the soft flow of sensuality in this. I especially like,

    'The moon slowly stirs...
    melts its magic across me

    Stars shine a blissful sigh ' - lovely image.

    Congrats on the Silver!


  • notorious
    August 27
    Edit | Reply
    MAZEL TOV on the Silver Jackieee.

  • LadyDementia gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply

    Wowzy!

    Nice to see this up Beautifully penned hun, glides across the page like magic. I adore the alliteration! Perfect poetry And the pic is awesome! All the best in the contest


  • Carolina Moon silver member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    lol Loved your AN And your poetry is always brilliantly done. Very sensual indeed sis! Best of luck my friend.


  • Amera gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    This is pure magic; it's beautiful! I love Jim Warren and now I know where he got the model for this painting. I didn't realize you were as flat as I am.

    Love,
    Amera♥

  • chiefmac
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    The erotic touches the readers mind. The body glows with passions desire, as stanza builds intensity to reach natures love released. Afterglow warms the senses to leave tingles quaking.


  • GreenHrtPaleMoon gold member
    August 27
    Edit | Reply
    YUMMY! *licks lips* Anywho.

    'The moon slowly stirs...
    melts its magic across me'

    I have missed your delicious imagery...MUCHLY! (also, I know that you write with the rich text editor on)

    'Igniting inner embers
    of sensuality'

    Beautiful

    'Desire once dampened
    given freedom to
    finally flame'

    hmmm... Switch 'to' and 'finally' That will fix it.

    'Abandon's touch
    explores...'

    Abandon's... abandon in the possessive seems awkward to me but it works.

    'erogenous folds' YUMMY! (crap, I already said that)

    '~ erupting erotic ~' The whole volcano thing with love is SOOO cliche, but you rocked it!


  • arafura
    August 26
    Edit | Reply
    Volcanic!!!


  • Swangrnv gold member
    August 26
    Edit | Reply

    goodness

    GULP! yeah..hot..


  • notorious
    August 26

    Edit | Reply

    Good God

    LMAO.
    I have that reaction every time you write adult stuff. ^^

    "The moon slowly stirs...
    melts its magic across me"
    Kick-ass personification with thy moon...'stirs' kind of makes me think of cooking, like gradually going towards the finished product.
    Which I think is appropriate for this.

    "Stars shine a blissful sigh
    to brush skin"
    'sigh' is the most overused word in all kinds of poetry. But I think it works here.

    "Igniting inner embers
    of sensuality"
    I think this could maybe be reworded to something else..."Igniting inner" said out loud sounds weird. Or, I have weird ears. Probably that.

    long left smoldering
    under surface

    "Now it builds.../and burns"
    That's AWESOME.
    You know, for this kind of poetry.
    LoL!! 'Now' could also be 'As', but I think 'Now' might work better. I dunno.

    "Desire once dampened
    given freedom to
    finally flame"
    You & your alliteration!!

    "Abandon's touch/explores..."
    LMAO at 'abandon's'...like, lust develops after not getting any for about 5 years. LMAO

    "finding erogenous folds"
    I think 'finding' is awkward (you love gerunds ). I think you could use the word 'sought'--it feels snappier.

    e.g.==>"erogenous folds sought"
    I dunno. Maybe.

    "stroking need
    into relief's necessity"
    'necessity'. Steamy much?!

    "Lust's lava flows
    from moist mound
    of femininity

    as euphoria rushes
    its release

    ~ erupting erotic ~"

    You like to write porn.








    You're very good at it.
    *hears backlash of people arguing about erotica & porn*

    LMAO

    Tell me when you get a trophy on this.

    Jessica


    • kiwigirljacks gold member
      August 26
      Edit | Reply
      Yes indeed.. I love gerunds and possessive forms mwahahaha!!

      Yep, some of it doesn't read so smoothly, but I aint changing it.. too tired

      I'm not even gonna enter into the porn/erotica debate hehehe

      • notorious
        August 26
        Edit | Reply
        At least you're not writing "legacy's sun" & junk like that. I'm so grateful. You're talented

        Porn/erotica...it all involves nudity...
  • Bob Fox
    August 26
    Edit | Reply

    My

    My gal this is such a salacious write dripping with desire. Hot....Oh my.


  • markgrif gold member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    Isn't it beautiful how poetry can free a part of ourselves?

    I really enjoyed reading this tonight, sis.


  • tara wilson gold member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    "Stars shine a blissful sigh
    to brush skin"

    I seem to like star poetry lines lately...lol...
    beautiful poem




  • Cannonsfire gold member
    August 26
    Edit | Reply
    Very sensual SIL, your muse is steamy today


  • jasminerose gold member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    A sensual piece that stirs the senses indeed! Excellent penning my friend!
    I agree with sensual can be a solo endeavour too
    Best wishes to you in the contest
    Linda


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    Ahem, well I should have taken note of the title! Solo endeavours can be fun, you do sensual to perfection. Best to you in the contest


  • azlyn gold member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning as always my dear! Yes Jacks...it can be a solo endeavour...and often is so nice that way...don't you think? Thanks for the entry and best of luck!!!

    Az

    {first read}

  • my.stars.dont.shine
    August 26
    Edit | Reply
    stunning. very well pinned. good luck in the contest. <3

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