I'm Addictive

I am Hannah Long.
I am forty-four years old as of today.
Happy birthday to me.I have a story to tell you,something so vivid and true that hopefully it will give you nightmare.Maybe than you wont be stupid enough to follow in my miserable foot steps.
I am a drug addict.I have tried anything and everything.From Heroin to Dope.I don't recommend my life style to anyone.I did have a dream like every other kid to make something more of myself in my distant future.But by eighteen years old my dreams were crashed and I turned to one thing I knew could suppress the pain.
My brother Michael introduced me to amphetamines,"boy was that a rush!"
Then I re-payed him by showing him the wonders of Heroin.We'd snort together and shoot up together.

Not a usual brotherly/sister bond but still it was a bond.
I loved him so much.
He was my big brother.
On October 27th Michael died of a drug over dose.
I could of saved him if I wasn't so off my face in the next room.
I awoke to hear my mum screaming on the top of her lungs.Tears making an escape to her cheeks and disappointment written all over her face.
I couldn't blame her,of course.
So instead of staying I packed a bag and headed for the nearest bridge.

I roamed the place and eventually met Matt.
We were so alike and I fell in love.
Soon drugs and alcohol which I had fondly taken up were now more important than one anothers company.

We didn't have money so we did our best to survive.
However our addiction was expensive.
He'd steal and I resorted to selling my body.
By my mid twenties Matt and I grew apart.
Matt became more violent and he'd beat me,to let his anger for the world,out on me.

One night after finishing a productive days work,
I took the usual route home,which was now promoted from a bridge to an abandoned house,and in a dark alley I was raped.
The dirty,old guy didn't even have the common decency to use a rubber!
I returned to Matt crying,he found out what happened and although we were drug addicts we loved one another,and so he hunted the old guy down and beated the guy till he bled to death.

As if life wasn't hard enough,I began vomiting every morning.
Matt coned me into going to a hospital.
Turned out I was pregnant.
I had never known Matt to be so happy.
I knew I had to change,stop drugs,alcohol and my usual abuse to my vessel.
But doing something and saying something are two different things.
I had a miscarriage.
It teared Matts heart.

He coped for a month,he couldn't handle it and committed suicide when I was out.

I lost everything,Matt was the only thing keeping me alive.

I made friends with people like me and unbeknownst to me I shared needles with someone who had aids.

I am now bedridden,suffering from my own stupidity.
And as I write my life experiences on this pathetic piece of paper,
I know I may have forgotten some vital information but maybe this might help someone.

My hands are weak now and I think I hear death coming to claim my soul.

Goodbye,
from
Hannah Long.