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The Queen's dinner guest



So sad the eyes that stare back at my own
And yet your flesh was sweet on which to dine
You know that life is only yours on loan
All mortal fools should know that they are mine
    I like to keep  the heads so I can see
    The final look of fear on those I killed
    The terrors of the men that I set free
    The memory of pain as life was spilled
This helpless wretch appeared to pledge his love
He thought that I would look on such a worm
I strung his feet from sturdy beams above
And sliced his flesh to watch the dullard squirm
    I'll take his head to bed to feed my dreams
    They'll fill with all the pleasure of his screams

Author notes

Yes, a little OTT for me I fancy

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Nikkisixxx
    November 5
    Edit | Reply
    Well I loved the way you wrote of this, not too desciptive and very feeling in spite of the subject matter. And to the comment below, I doubt Val McDermid would be too challenged by you Jeff, while both are of serial killers, hers is a novel, and yours is too poetic and feeling for her.
  • Taking this one to bed with me Jeff! Your mind is getting deliciously dark ... watch out Val McDermid Jeff is on his way.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Your first quatrain was very good - it had an air of mystery to it. What followed then became a little too obvious, for my taste. Two-and-a-half bunnies, because it is so well crafted, and I usually round up.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    August 27
    Edit | Reply
    Ooooo ... this is dark, I love it.


  • Amera gold member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully dark and filled with imagery. The rhyme makes it deeper and gives it material substance. Bravo!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    A very lovely write for the contest!!! I do think you can get the gold for this. SPLENDID!!

    I love the heartache and still pictured so gracefull!

    WELL DONE!!

    All the best in the contest!

    Becks

1 - 6 of 6