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Fear of the Unknown

"The greatest thing we have to

fear is fear itself" - try rationally
explaining that to someone having a
panic attack, or has Panic Disorder.
Someone like me.

I thought I was doing well with
meds and therapy until I changed
my own regimen, not taking into
account how stressed I am about
my future...the unknown.

I thought once I'd graduated college
I could just jump into a career or
land a job in a flash, but apparently
it wasn't meant to be so.
Now all I have is the unknown.

Humankind's inherent fear of the
unknown and my own emotional

disorder do not get along well at all.
I'm not the strong, determined woman
I used to be, or seem to be.

I had stress enough when I was in
the convent, then working through
university to graduate with a B.A.
in History; I thought I was prepared

enough not to fear the unknown.

But I'm human, and so I'm told this
condition is to be expected; but how
can I accept it?  How can I conquer
this inherent fear of the unknown?
Isn't this more than fear itself?

Author notes

Chaos indeed.
"I'm moving on, and leaving this dark cloud behind me" - by putting it in God's hands.
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All I could think of when rereading this was the lyrics from "Matchmaker" (Fiddler on the Roof): "...it's not that I'm sentimental - it's just that I'm terrified!"

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • Hex Omega
    September 6

    Edit | Reply

    Yes, fear, a commonality amongst many, especially myself

    I'm not diagnosed with a panic disorder or anything but I have my own fatal ways of dealing with my "fear of the unknown." I just started college recently, and well I'm quite fearful. I know this really isn't any consolation, but I guess what I'm implying is that there are people not in the same, but similar circumstances as yourself. This means, there will always be someone to help you along your way. Look at it, as "the instruments" of god. The band always marches on, but as long as you are willing to "march" at any cost, then I assure you that you won't fall behind.
    Thanks for entering.
  • pelo801
    August 29
    Edit | Reply
    mi vida es en tus manos

  • aanika
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    Now all I have is the unknown.

    Humankind's inherent fear of the
    unknown and my own emotional
    disorder do not get along well at all.


    the unknown is my biggest fear.
    I can relate,
    therefore I loved this
    nice write

  • Pisces rainbow
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    oh my sweet child, you think too much how much passes you by because of your fear, you need to see the glass half full my young friend, just simply look around you your love ones, your home. all of your blessings just fill your thoughts with all your blessing and enjoy.
    wonderful write my friend
    always a pleasure
    God bless...


  • TabbyJoy
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    Your honesty shines through here. The acceptance of your flawed human nature is a good start towards conquering your fear of the unknown. Onle when we accept our inadequacy and completely rely on our faith in God (with whom there are no unknowns) can we truly find peace.

    I wish you well as you continue your struggle to overcome these fears. Thanks or sharing!

  • Iyaden
    August 28

    Edit | Reply
    Its all about perception. If you think the unknown as a boogie man, then thats what it will be to you. If you allow it to be an undiscovered country then you enjoy the journey. Your poem feels more of a narrative rant to me so it may benefit from a more relaxed philosophical approach. You certainly have a lot to say so I am looking forward

    • OrangeMarmalade silver member
      August 28
      Edit | Reply
      Theraputically penning about a panic attack, panic disorder coming across as a rant...and I need to approach it from a more existential angle - hmmmmmm...
      It sounds like a request for verbal convolutions.

      • Iyaden
        August 29
        Edit | Reply
        Hehe not in such big words. I merely suggest you make it flow like a poem. The content is fine and I was not passing judgement in any way. I am new at this so just an honest first impression. In my experience (as I suffered this a lot) the moments we revert into a sense of primordial instincts (fear) are the ones that make me think about my existence more. Deep rooted responses may be animalistic but they should never be frowned upon
1 - 8 of 8