Whining metal zings through the air
Pinging and ringing
Distant smoke and then the report
The birds have flown in
Trousers tear along with skin
Hurts like hell
But it coulda' been worse
Hostel attention from the balconies
Take aim, adjust sight picture
Breath in, hold, and squeeze
Pop! and target is down
A smoke trail streaks through the air
Face on the ground and ears ring
Truck's been hit
These buildings need to be cleared
Alright lets stack
Check the door for wires
GO!
First one left, second right
Third left, fourth right
Bravo team room's clear
Windows shatter from an explosion outside
Alpha team, stack!
Rock back and squeeze, ready for entry
Go!
In the hallway and rounds are flying
Hit in the chest and
Stare at the ceiling
Ragged breaths while hot metal still flies
Self aid!
Self aid!
Left arm isn't working
Right hand finds the med pouch
Then, sleep.
- The Cave group list • next in list
A contest entry
- SCARE THE CRAP OUT OF ME LOL by Swan song.
1000 points, ended August 31, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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hummm.... this one is well written if not very violent sounding to me. Sounds like a gun fight and then death in the end. Good job
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i thought this poem was quite effective. I've never been in the military, but you do well to show us what a situation like that is really like--I mean, as far as that's really possible...
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this is a differnt kind of scar the crap out of me poem trading bullets with anus heads sucks
i have been there. the flow was very very good
you captured it just right and it i feel is very hard to bring the reader into this world and make it effective but i htink you did pretty well
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