2 Seconds Flat

I wonder if I'll always be a victim of myself
If I'll always pay mind to what my head says
And never my heart
And keep on following tiny voices
Like a gospel
Sinking further and further down
Into my own proverbial quicksand
Until it's too unbearable
To pull myself out
And look at myself in the mirror again

I wonder, will I always be a shell
A sad, forgotten mural of who I used to be
Headstrong and lacking so many voids
That have developed over recent years
Purely out of circumstance, and lack of motivation
And needing to be respected, to be loved and admired
Without heeding my own wishes
As I should

Now finding I am nothing
Like I always was
A sad, sorry picture
Of a lack of direction
That I can't seem to overcome
Nor shall I want to embrace
For all of time.