And the dark angel fell from the sky
to break the silence of the stirring dawn,
unleashing the heat of a new sun
opening earth’s jaw in deadly yawn,
Belching through Hell’s gate a monstrous roar
ascending on a wave of concussion,
sucking up the pulverized red earth
to perpetrate its deadly repercussion.
A city fell beneath its charcoal pall
the ugly mushroom cloud spewed out its bane,
bombarded by malignant gamma rays
to fall on earth like disgorged muddy rain.
As the precious treasure of cold water
cooled my burning body with relief,
I faced the land at mercy of the flames
and devastation far beyond belief.
Author notes
2. "Her Silent Silhouette" by `arcipello
A contest entry
- Picture Inspiration Contest #7 by Ethereal One.
900 points, ended September 19, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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You write extremely well.I could picture everything that you wrote and can feel the devastation that must have taken place.I can see why you won silver why you didn't win gold baffles me.This is truely heartbreaking and sad.I am glad you wrote it the way you did I would not change a thing.
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You write of a very sad, realistic,and frightening circumstance in your poem. Your words produce many strong images, and emotions for the reader. You have done a very good job of using the picture for inspiration!
Thank you for your entry, and good luck!
Ethereal One
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I am not aware of having stated an opinion on the devastation of Hiroshima, this poem is merely a discription of an event of which I had to use references as to what happened and is only an imagined version of the catastrophe. Thankyou for submiting your comment, I am sorry to refrain your invitataion to discuss the topic. Val
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I would like to understand your opinion better, as it conflicts with my understanding of the facts. If you know why you feel the way you do, and are willing to discuss and compare how I feel about the same subject, I would welcome the opportunity to respectfully explore the issue. -
Very good. You captured the horror of that day beautifully. My only concern is the description of "monsterous roaring." If you mean the sound of the explosion, there actually was no sound at ground zero; it was a "noiseless flash." But I digress. Good work, and good luck.
. Rewarded 6
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Prof. Mes/Rectifies/Yer Vers
A city grinned beneath its charcoal pall
the fatal mushroom cloud spewed out its bane,
waterd by malignant gamma rays'pool
"to fall on earth like disgorged muddy rain."
. Rewarded 4
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Oh yesssssssss !! Awesome, no that word is overused, this is truly magnificent!! Not only have you captured the event but you have also created a monster to portray it, such depth in darkness and imagery leaves me gobsmacked. Every line stands alone as incredible. Ill eat my hat if this doesnt get gold
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this is something i can't even think about what to say, it is sorrow and beauty mixed into one, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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