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Page 473, Paragraph 9, Verse 7

Missing image
Succulent Answers to Life's Little Gaps, I read
my favorite page in Poor Richard's Almanac
A vibrant assortment of titillating facts
pixels aplenty, and absorbing fast. . .

Charlie's grin is a red flush on my throat
hollow as his head is, it'd hardly float. . .
But with sugar rainbows in a chocolate moat
Pour the milk honey, while I ponder this quote. . .
Put Hari the hairy Cat out with a note, and
deep in the context of this random toast,

Breathe honey, just making sure you're listening. . .

Author notes

Not a real page, just going along with the wordbank.
I'm wondering what I could have done with the other option.
Ohwell, this'll do.

I used a variation on the word breath, is that alright?

Word Bank 1

breath
red
hollow
vibrant
succulent
rainbow
grin
hari
hair
charlie
chocolate
deep
milk
throat

I think I used every word except hair. And . . .what?

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Sensual Angel gold member
    September 28

    Edit | Reply
    this is great. I love it and yes its fine that you used a variation on the word breath. you did a outstanding job with this. the rhyme is wonderful and I think you are very creative.

    good luck

    kat


  • poppa silver member
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    agree totally with Tomisb , that second stanza is the bomb love the rhythm and rhyme in this, wonderful


  • tomisb
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    I love the second verse. So nonsensically delicous.

    His head rises out of he paper and he takes a sip of morning java.
    "By two,honey. You will be happier that way."
    Head returns to the news.

    Love, Tom B.

  • kraazk05 gold member
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    I think you're being too hard on yourself. This has a fantastic rhythm to it. Excellent use of the word bank and superior metaphors.

    I don't know why, but the last line gave me an image of a married couple at the breakfast table. The woman is just spouting off random stuff because she knows the hubby's not paying the least bit of attention.



    I know, I'm weird.

    Have some clappy dudes, and good luck!


  • Woodchuck4400 silver member
    September 8

    Edit | Reply
    Jin, please it read again, dear.
    It's brain damage I fear.
    Ninth line has the word 'hair'
    It describes that cat there.
    Take this comment with glee
    Knoweth I kiddeth thee.

    Mike

1 - 5 of 5