Your fingers brush
Across my skin
Breaking down
My every fear
Insecurity
Replacing the pain
With joy
With love
With passion
You’re eyes search me
Finding everything
I’ve tried
To hide
Looking at me
Holding me
Like I am precious
Important
Breakable
You comb your fingers
Though my hair
And whisper
In my ear
How much you love me
Will never let me go
Never hurt me
You hold my heart
In the palm of your hand
Be careful with me
A contest entry
- I Need Smiles = ) by StormGoddess.
650 points, ended September 18, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please be brutally honest :)
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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A lovely and sensitive piece...
A lovely and sensitive piece; has a nice flow and "softness" of words; feels genuine and I can sense the vulnerability of the moment; wonderfully done. --Joe
PS In terms of improvement, I agree with superl337sauce. Punctuation and grammar / readability are important, giving that subtle strength to undergird one's writing.
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Sweet Love
Oh i like this one alot! very sweetly wrote i really like your poetry it has so much volume!
great writing keep up the good work
Rend
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errr. :/ I'v been here. turns out happy ever after doesnt always come true. only in movies and fairy tales. dont forget the extremly lucky people who find the oppurtunity for true love... One day i will have it never settle for anything less then what you deserve <3
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This is definitely words I could share with someone. Tender and soft. Thank you for your entry and good luck. Storm
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thanks so much
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This is so sweet that I could actually cry...what happens after that ! Just kidding. I loved it!
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thnks so much
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very good
u better not let this one hurt u!! -
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thnks
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Awwwww......
That is so sweet!!! I LOVED it!!!
It is so beautiful how you describe your love. The real love. The one that is so scary and is so open that you feel naked all of the time. You try to hide certain things but they seem to see them anyway. But the important part is that they love you anyway.
Great job and keep it up. -
"
Your fingers brush
Across my skin
Breaking down
My every fear
Insecurity
"
Should there be an "and" in there?
I think you'll find that varying capitalization and adding punctuation will add tons more character to your poems.
I dunno, I'm just not really feeling this one. It's hard for to recreate it or visualize it or really feel it. Maybe elaborate on your descriptions? -
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yeah my prob w this one is im not really in love so yeah
lol
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I am always honest with you
i tried to find my favorite part Laura but i seem to fall in love with every line.. the warmth i felt reading this poem, i'm not currently in love but i felt it.. the effect of a great poet!
You hold my heart
In the palm of your hand
Be careful with me - i think the title should've been inspired from this part. but that's just me..it's the best!
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thanks i think your right
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Ugh!
More sentimental stuff! Sorry,but I'm tired of these, too!
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im sorry but then stop reading my stuff
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This is another excellent read. Great job!
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thanks so much
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another great write..... wow your awesome..... thank you for sharing you heart with us and good luck in contest......!
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thanks
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