i'd GIVE up FOREVER to TOUCH you, (because i KNOW that you FEEL the SAME now)

You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll EVER be
And I DON’T want to go home right now.


As I face crossroads,
I cannot move.
I reason with risk and sense.
Each one tainted by desire.
Not so much lust as to love.
Love for everything he portrays.
The character he plays in this life is my own Edward Cullen.

I twist his velvety hair through my fingers,
Clutching to him.
Struggling, I try numerous times to make an exit,
But he is my escape, I cannot leave.
It seems as if the concrete has been poured to my feet.
Paralysing my lower body.

I look into his gentle eyes,
Feeling my knees buckle, I struggle to keep my stance.
I take his delicate body and pull myself tighter to him,
Wishing the people around me away.
…if only that were enough…

If there is anything I’ve wanted quite as much as this,
Then I am oblivious to it.
His frame is unmistakably beautiful,
His striking face pins me to the dirt.

I cannot conceive how exactly I got this lucky.
I am not a good person,
I have sinned as much as the next.
So why his he standing beside me?

My single wish his to be with him.
I don’t care how, I barely care where,
Just as long as his blood rushes next to me everything else is just an insignificant detail.

My greatest aspiration?
To be completely alone with him, entwined in sheets.
No distractions.  Just intimacy.

Your hand grazes my thigh.
I experience a shiver of anticipation.
Lost upon sudden urges.
I have to breathe deeply to steady myself.

It feels so right being with you.
It feels mutual.
You are the Switzerland in the battle of my insanity.

Shaken longing wont dissolve.
Only multiply in the heat of your touch.
This ache wont die down.

Annoyance and frustration play parts in this pathetic film of my life.
Why cant I have you?
I know of others, at my age, they can have what they want.
So why am I destined to succumb to this bitterness of lonely?

I torment you merely because I cant have you.
You are not simply a part of my life anymore.
No, you are a requirement.
Just like oxygen, I cant breathe properly without you

Despite my negative air,
Secretly I usually hope for the best.
But honestly, even I cant work out how this could ever happen.

I need a Panadol to numb this sensation,
But they are locked away with my tears.


biting my lower lip as i supress hidden intentions
How badly I crave for more then his soft kiss.
Yearn at night for his warmth.
But all situations lead to dead ends.
I am stuck missing my fairytale moment.