It’s black; mind-wrenching, heart-stopping black
If only I could open my eyes and see the darkness crack
A hole in the murky air shows a blurry sight
A soft glow coming from a tiny light
[Losing my sight]
My head drops back down to the cold hard floor
I try to think happy thoughts but my mind is so sore
I’m weary knowing that I reach out to them
But they don’t see the problems, they only condemn
[Losing my mind]
My eye’s fallen off the prize, to the ground
Maybe because of the hardships I’ve found
I see not a friend in the opaque wind
I’m not sure if these feelings will ever mend
[Losing my sight]
It’s not like I didn’t try so hard, because I did
But maybe someone could have helped me, God forbid
It’s not that I don’t try my hardest, because I do
And you’d fall to your knees if only you knew
[Losing my mind]
I don’t fear losing my life, but my hopes and dreams
But this life has always been a nightmare it seems
My fantasy and reality finally intertwine
[[I just wish someone would tell me I’m fine]]
Author notes
Okay, sorry if this sucks, but I HAD to write it once I saw PAPA ROACH was an option, my FAV band.
BTW, incase you didn't notice, it's based off the lyrics "Im Loosing My Sight Loosing My Mind Wish Somebody Would Tell Me Im Fine"~ Last Resort: Papa Roach
I LOVE PAPA ROACH!
A contest entry
- Tears Ran Dry, Echoes Of Sadness (( Give Me Dark, Creepy, Sad, Cutting, Suicide, Ex.)) by HereComesTheSun.
550 points, ended September 14, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Like? Dislike? Reasons?
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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vivid
Yes, a little dark, but I usually write that way also. Have taken a break from it....but we think the same way. Life isn't always pretty. And sometimes people are harsh. You go on writing what your heart tells you to write. Others cant take away your muse if you do not let them. Your peice is strong....very well presented.
HD
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Why thank you.
It's always nice when someone appreciates my work.
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I like this and i can relate. Who is this a picture of in the backround? I like the way you alternated between losing my sight and losing my mind. That really drove the point home.
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i LOVE papa roach too
great artist overall a fantastic band
the right was great i love the undertone of the song and yet how personal it was great work and good luck in the contest -
OhMyGawd! This is amazing! I got chills while I was reading this. And the last stanza blew me away. I love Papa Roach too and the song you based this poem off of is one of my favorites.
I don't know what else to say; I really, really love this poem though!
xx
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You like Papa Roach too?? Awesome!! They're my favorite band :->
I'm glad you like :-DDD
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I really enjoyed reading this. Well, it was a bit sad, but I have felt the same way quite often. I was only about 14 when I started writing poetry. The emotion you convey is so strong!!! It is an excellent outlet (as you said on your home page). I don't know what I would have done if I'd had to hold everything inside.
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This is good. I like the scheme and flow. Check your author's page for some spelling errors it might help your crediblility.
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??
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I love it, I like how the stanzas go with the little part after them. Makes it work really well!
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Yeah, I thought it was kinda.... interesting. Haha, glad you like and thanks for reading!
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14 huh? the emotion you write with is like that of a much older women. Which is a complement. Let writing be your outlet you're young the world can only get better I know your poetry will. Impressive read
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I certainly feel like an older woman. And I hope my life and poetry do get better. Thanks for reading and I'm glad you liked it!
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I hope you don't really feel like this but it's a good poem. you're so talented for one so young.
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Haha, not that young. Or at least I don't feel it. But thanks for reading, glad you like.
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I find this write to be very sad, real and full of emotions...
Written with talent grand imagery and a great flow
Just keep in mind that our hopes and dreams are our life its our future
Writing lets out the dark it is great that you write and remember the darkness is always followed by the light of a new day...
I am glad to have read this write and will be reading more
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Cool, thanks.
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cool, your 14? mad props girl
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Haha, thanks.
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Your Fine! I Win! yay! I hope you win This is an amazing poem. REALLY. Keep Writing!! (or i will find you...)
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Okay.... Fine.... I'll keep writing.... JUST DON'T FIND ME!! At least, not to hurt me. You can find me for anything else. :->
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Oh, but i will find you! And pinch you! Because we all know im going to win the bet. (btw why werent you in school today, I missed you)
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Nooo! I will win the bet!!
My nose hurt.
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This was epic...I like the whole black and white theme, but I CAN'T READ ANYTHING!!!! AHHH!
You may need to change that >_<
Uhmmm I'm just curious...who is in the background?
Anyway. Great job!
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Yeah, it is really hard to read. But I just looooove the background!
It's Jacoby Shaddix, lead singer from PAPA ROACH.
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great take on the song i love how you quote it in your poem entering each new paragraph
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Thank you.
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IT DOES NOT SUCK!! lol dont worry ill always be there lurking in the darkness with you
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Haha, thanks.
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