They've banned 'The Wild Rover' for many a year
'Cos when it is sung it curdles the beer.
Yet know it's returning and God knows what for,
But it's requested by folkies who don't know the score.
CHORUS
It's still No, Nay, Never * * * *
No never no more
Don't sing the wild rover -- No never no more.
When you go to a folk club and state your intent
To sing the wild rover, they look at you bent.
You beg their indulgence and the M.C. says "Nay!
You sing that in here and you're banned straight away."
CHORUS
So you take from your pocket a Juice-Harp so bright
And the M.C.'s eyes open wide in pure fright.
"Please sing if you want to. I'm sure that'll be best.
Just treat then harsh words as my little jest."
CHORUS
Well you open your mouth and the song is begun
And the regulars join in with your bit of fun.
But they do not forgive you and request an encore.
And the next time you go there they all bar the door.
CHORUS
Author notes
"The Wild Rover" is a traditional folk song sung by many, many people such as Shane MacGowan http://www.shanemacgowan.com/lyrics/wildrover.shtml Nowadays when people request it in folk clubs most audiences groan and when this happened recently at "The Steamer Folk Club" in Fleetwood I wrote this and sang it to the same tune.
The image is the infamous "Juice Harp"
A contest entry
- BAD MUSIC! BAD LYRICS! W00T W00T! CAN YOU WRITE WORSE? by Allan Emery.
450 points, ended October 3, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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quite a fun tun sounds like one of those irish songs sweeping our nation
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Thanks for reading and writing. You're right, it is generally believed that the Wild Rover is of Irish origin even though this one was written by a Yorkshire Tyke.
Jim
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Yeah!
A folkie after my own heart! This is quite funny! I recognized the juice harp, never heard the song & when I clicked on the link was hoping to be entertained with the music. Would've loved to hear the melody & the harp again! Where's Fleetwood pray tell? Wish I could still sing at open mics & folk clubs. Bravo for this. It's a write, excellent rhyme, flow & timing!
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Sad to say it is the red rose county! Fleetwood is on the Fylde coast of N-W England , 6 miles or so from Blackpool. There are many many such clubs around the UK where microphones are unheard of and folk sit around singing acapella or accompanying themselves on a wide variety of instruments just for the fun of it. In my own area of Yorkshire (White rose county) I could go to a different one very night for a month or more and most of it is free (except for the cost of any drinks you consume that is). http://homepage.ntlworld.com/jameslawton/filofolk/
If you're ever in the area drop in and have fun.
Jim
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Beautiful
What a beautiful Song, Lyrical so melodious like a folk song
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I'm not sure if beautiful is the best word to use
especially when I sing it 
but I enjoy it and I'm glad others do too.
Thanks for reading and writing.
Jim -
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Nice
Its Beautiful Song, lyrical melody
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Jim, I always enjoy reading your work. It's not only entertaining, but for me, it is an education in your country's culture and tradition. Bless you Jim, and thanks for sharing.
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Education Hmm!
That'll be the teacher in me
Ar least reading it you don't have to hear me singing it
Thanks for stopping by.
Jim
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Good one ILR. Being from the states, I've never heard that one. I did find a link to the tune here though, which helped me while reading your rendition: http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics/Wild_Rover.shtml
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Yep that's more or less the tune I use, though I do it a beat or too quicker.
Thanks for the link.
Jim
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Could we have a little more explanation, please? And what is a "Juice Harp?" I have heard of, but not, I think, seen a "Jew's Harp." Is it similar?
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Hello old friend.
The Wild Rover is an old, often sung folk song in the UK (and maybe elsewhere) There's a link above to the words but here's one to Wikkipedia which is not too inaccurate (although I've never heard their verse 4)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wild_Rover
A Juice Harp is also called a Jew's Harp but I don't like the connotations of that so I stick to Juice (Saliva). I headed the poem with a picture of the instrument which is gripped between the lips against the teeth and twanged with the fingers!
I wanted to use banjo instead of Juice harp but it wouldn't fit with the pocket reference and that was needed to echo back to the original song. Plus the very first place I sang it at the MC plays the banjo himself so I thought I'd better not risk it
I hope that helps you place things a bit better.
BTW I have also written a parody entitled "I've been a Sheep-drover" about an old sheep dog but I haven't sung it for years.
Jim
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