Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Galaxy

whirlwind thoughts appear
stars,and heavenly bodies
sheltered sleep set dream

 

a crickets playful
all night of a destroyer
forces of darkness

 

joined in vague feelings,thoughts
perished, as the stars shine, set a stage
road weary of its traveler.

Author notes

Senryu-5/7/5

Haiku-5/7/5

Pixiku-8/10/8

This is the first time using all three forms in one poem. Hope you like.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Samplette gold member
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely crafted. Each form connects very well, or stands on their own. One thing, I believe "crickets" should be "cricket's" Other than that, good work. Thank you for entering the contest.
    Sam
    • kendhal22 gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply

      Thank u

      Thank you for the wonderful comment given to my poem. I always like a challenge. First time doing one with three forms different.
      I like your contest. They just bring a new retrospect to improving our knowledge of writing in different forms. I realize I didn't do that, must have a typo. Kendhal22

  • Frogzter
    September 24
    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant! Great usage of all 3 forms.

    • kendhal22 gold member
      September 24
      Edit | Reply

      thank you

      Thank you for the wonderful comments given. I always see a challenge and go further like thinking outside the box. I'm glad you liked my poem. Kendhal22
  • Striders Bar - silver member
    September 21
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Ah, 'tis a fine write, indeed. I liked the way in which you expressed your thoughts. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
    • kendhal22 gold member
      September 21
      Edit | Reply

      thank u

      Thank you for the wonderful comment given. My first writing in three forms. Trying something new. I'm glad you liked. Kendhal22

  • Woodchuck4400 silver member
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    I enjoyed this poem very much. I appreciate the beauty of Haiku and Senryu. I have temporarily given up on the genre as I was told that I did not know what I was doing.

    Great job.

    Mike

    . Rewarded 4

    • kendhal22 gold member
      September 21
      Edit | Reply

      Thank u

      Thank you for the wonderful sentiments given to my poem and the applaudes formost are very welcome. Kendhal22

  • csmmoms2
    September 21
    Edit | Reply

    Lovely

    Very sweet and it flows through the cosmos.

    • kendhal22 gold member
      September 21
      Edit | Reply

      Thank u

      Thank you. Were having some crickets issue, and that I would write about them in a poem. I'm glad you liked the poem. Kendhal22

  • egyptia
    September 21

    Edit | Reply
    i like this cause i didn't know how to write senryu now i do, thanks, i like your writing too.
    • kendhal22 gold member
      September 21
      Edit | Reply

      thanks

      Thank you for commenting and response to my poem. Kendhal22
1 - 13 of 13