You there boy
In just his fourth winter
Who holds his half worn teddy bear close
With small hands and innocent eyes,
A vision of the past you reflect.
You remind me
Of a boy I used to know,
Who still holds his half worn teddy bear
And grandfather's hand while they walk
Down the snow swept street,
Forever frozen in his fourth winter.
Comments
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Forever frozen in his fourth winter.
fourth generation still with a kid at heart
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I like it !
A strong memory that's very special, and frozen in time, there is sadness and pathos here, that touches the reader.
I can see this vision, (or am I quite wrong in my little analysis)
JS
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This is a truly lovely write!! Yes there are so many things that bring back past memories!! You gave such great details and descriptions!! You truly portrayed this piece very well!! I can tell that you put a lof of thought into this!! I know that you wrote it from your heart!! Every line and word are perfect!! This is amazing!! Your imagery is brilliant!! You are a very incredible writer!! I love how you wrote this!! Well done!! I love it!!
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Nice small wtite. The imagery was v ery well done. Winter can be a very sad time. You sort of done this. There is a bit of sadness in winter.
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Something always comes along to trigger a memory doesn't it. Sadness, a loss, all appear vividly here. Excellent...mal
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Beautiful. I get the sense of a child who died. I am wondering at the choice of "winter" in this poem- not spring or summer (which is more associated with childhood) but winter. Winter in my mind calls up a sense of death, as the beauty and richness of life in summer is frozen. And it is that "frozen" imagery that you utilive, the child "frozen" in time- and death? I don't know if this is a 'true' poem, but either way, it is quite powerful. I absolutely love how you penned this.
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short, but lovely imagery. fourth winter just sounds so much better than 4 years old. everything about this is just lovely. i wish i could be more helpful, but i relaly wouldn't change anything as your transition appears seamless to me a least and just a great write overall. best wishes
~shadowlyn
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I love the imagery of this one. I feel it is almost a window in time, and is quite beautiful in its characterizations, including the half worn teddy bear, very nicely done. We all can relate to that boy.
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Forever frozen in his forth winter.
That's a great line, it brings to mind three different stories,
Either this kid died, and you remember him as how he would be now- with the childlike qualities he left behind,
or, this kid was in some kind of accident, and it left him mentally impaired, so he is a functioning adult, with a childlike mind,
or, you remember yourself in the days of childhood innocence, and remember how safe it was back then. Yearning for the lost days...
Could be reading it completely wrong...
My interpretation however.
I enjoyed this write-- eternally sad... -
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You are never wrong, in an interpretation...At least, that's how I feel, yet the third one you said, is what I had in mind when I was writing it.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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what a beautiful write! the way it made me feel, was like it was me who was remembering, what an excelent write.
Have a great day!!
Emma
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*applauds*
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this is so beautiful
and the ending is perfect. -
Beautifully written. It made me cry remembering my little brother. Very well done
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It does have gentle depths to it like looking at memories from the inside of a mirrored box..if that makes any sense. It just echoes soft, timeless definitions of humanity. Contrasting images are merged together to give a hauntingly sad, yet beautiful effect. A physical connection of youth and old-age in a setting that would touch any reader...lucky enough to relate to it or not.
It brings back what most forget, what is so distant, though painfully close- as though it should be familiar.
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This is deeper than it sounds and I really like the ending, it was so touching. Very nice piece you did her, thanks for sharing.
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This was such a sweet little write, so full of reminiscence... thank you for sharing it. I especially like the line
"With small hands and innocent eyes,
A vision of the past you reflect." -
Such a wonderful little piece, it tugs at my soul. Very personal and loving. I love the "Forever frozen in his fourth winter."
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Such a snap shot,
oh...this has such a sense of memory to it.
Looking in the eyes of children,
searching for what was lost and all but forgotten.
Your granddad ...your half worn childhood companion..
the snow swept streets....all collaborate to set the stage of a weary adult..that gruffly calls to a youngster for the sentimentalist of reasons..to equate the child's image as he sees it, with his own...that image that will never leave him ...no matter how badly the world may mistreat him....he is comforted by this image... frozen in a time that was so glorious....in his forth winter.
As i said, the title is intriguing in itself.
The piece does not disappoint.
...it meshes a life that includes harshness with humanity.
The callous beckoning to the boy, only to tell him how endeared he is to his life as it is now...of how he is reminded of a time with no fear.. just undying love for all the warmth that comes from innocents.
But it is you that sees clearly now...for whenever we look at ourselves and can see what we were, is when we can clearly see what we are.
This is one of your very special pieces Brandon,
because the only time we can really see
is when we gain true insight.
I am very found of this particular piece.
All the elements of existence came in to play.
Innocents...reflection..gained knowledge ...insight...
eminence sentiment....this holds a place in my heart...
a man stands in wonder at his passing life....
Superb!
You know i enjoy all your work....but this one....like a corkscrew to my heart....im afraid i have fallen in love with this piece..it is OUTSTANDING!
PEACE ALWAYS MY BROTHER,
LOWELL
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I like it! Very good write!
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