sweet mercyful feeling
caught in your arm's
my wounds you keep healing
a victim to your charm
I can't help but express
this feeling burning
My love I must confess
heart beat's yerning
Your tender touch awaits
this all I can stand
my heart and mind debate
will they come hand an' hand
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Comments
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Your tender touch awaits
this all I can stand
my heart and mind debate
will they come hand an' hand
this is so nice.
. Rewarded 4
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heartbeat is one word, yearning is mispelt and I don't see any real reason to leave out the d in the word and in the last line.
However, this is a beautiful piece regardless of those tiny errors that you could easily fix. The feeling of being in someone's arms and being safe in there, and to want to have those arms around you and to need that so bad are truely universal themes that I think anyone could relate to. If you can get your audience to relate to your poem, you are very close to creating one they will remember for all time -
sweet mercyful feeling
caught in your arm's
my wounds you keep healing
a victim to your charm
I have a man in my life right now that is healing my wounds from the past just by loving me for all I am, I love this write from the bottom of my heart! -
This is sweet and nice as it is. The tempo seems to change a little in the last stanza -- or should I say, it's different from the first. I wouldn't chane much, sometimes, short, direct and sweet is all you need.
. Rewarded 4
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Might I say sweet again..
beautiful, touching.. and flawless flow.
(one typo, I think)
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this is a nice read.....
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so sweet
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Almost forgot
Go to "parrots of telegraph hill" and you'll be pleased!
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Really lovely
Three words jump out at me-"hand an' hand" and there ain't nothin' else...ever.
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Wow this is beautiful. The love you write about i can feel come threw your words. Thanks for the read and keep on writing.
. Rewarded 4
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This is sooo... cute....!!! I love how you the poem just flows... each words touching your heart as you read it... GREAT JOB... I can't choose a favorite part I loved it all.......
. Rewarded 4
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GREAT IMAGINATION,I STOOD SPEECHLESS WHILE READING IT
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Aw this is so sweet!! I love it!! You did a brilliant job with this!! I love how you express your emotion!!! Every word every line is so beautiful!! This is incredible and amazing!! Perfect from start to finish!! I LOVE IT!!
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aw, love is great, aint it? lol
this poem was so sweet! i loved it!
i especially liked the middle stanza:
"I can't help but express
this feeling burning
My love I must confess
heart beat's yerning"...
wow, that was amazingly good! nice work! =)
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epic
this poem is absolitely fantastic and its just......just....epic it is like that 1 flower you'd find yourself stare at among a 1000 others
excellent work. check out some of my works on this site i imagine you would quite like them.
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